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Title: Review Topic for my Bionicle Epics Post by: Ddude The Insane on August 24, 2009, 08:33:45 pm This is the review topic for my Bionicle Epic: The Shadowed Land[
The Shadowed Land (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,4378.new.html) Post you criticism/compliments here! The Shadowed Land-Current Chapter: 2 Title: Re: The Shadowed Land-Review Topic Post by: Saturn2.0 on August 24, 2009, 09:59:55 pm I like it, could you work a little better on grammar? This doesn't make sense:
"...Solek was startled to see that the Nui-Jaga...." That last part sounds like you were going to add something, but ended in a period. But besides that, I rate it 9/10, could use more epicness :o! Title: Re: The Shadowed Land-Review Topic Post by: Ddude The Insane on August 24, 2009, 10:06:24 pm ?
I don't remember that part. Could you quote it? I couldn't find it. It's trailing off to the next chapter. EDIT:I saw the typo you mentioned, I fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out. Title: Re: The Shadowed Land-Review Topic Post by: Kritzelei on August 27, 2009, 02:27:38 am Brilliant! It's good so far, I can't wait for the next chapter.
TBD Title: Re: The Shadowed Land-Review Topic Post by: Ddude The Insane on October 30, 2009, 09:14:04 pm Ok, I put up the second chapter. But I got a new idea, and I don't want to have two story serials breathing down my neck (=P) So I closed The Shadowed Land. This topic will now be for discussing my new series, Readying the Storm. It;s about life on Bara Magna as everyone prepares for Makuta.
EDIT: Change of heart, I'll handle both of 'em. This topic is now for The Shadowed Land and Readying the Storm. |