My LEGO Nexus Organization

Other Stuff => Writing => Topic started by: Jade on October 06, 2009, 01:54:17 pm



Title: My Short Stories
Post by: Jade on October 06, 2009, 01:54:17 pm
I would really like some feedback on my short stories. Tell me what you think

Beginning Of It All
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,84.0.html

A Friendship Is Born (pt.1)
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,93.0.html

A Friendship Is Born (pt.2)
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,90.0.html

Beginning of the End
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,69.0.html

Past Revealed (pt.1)
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,72.0.html

Past Revealed (pt.2)
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,79.0.html

Past Revealed (pt.3)
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,83.0.html

The End of the Jedi
http://spacewars.smfforfree.com/index.php/topic,81.0.html


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Kritzelei on October 10, 2009, 03:39:57 am
I've only read The Beginning of the End so far, but I thought it was very well done. I'll have to read the rest!


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Flash-әdge on October 10, 2009, 02:43:52 pm
Both pretty cool; not bad for short excerpts but unfortunately, I could only view two of them  :-\

Agh, now I'm hanging in suspense >:(


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Jade on October 10, 2009, 02:52:47 pm
Which ones didn't work?


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Flash-әdge on November 02, 2009, 02:12:28 pm
Whoops; forgot about this topic  :-[

The ones in the middle didn't work.

PS- Actually, it's good I forgot since this topic was getting old :P


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Jade on November 02, 2009, 02:15:42 pm
Strange... I'll have to find out why.

Thanks for forgetting :P


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Flash-әdge on November 02, 2009, 02:32:37 pm
*Chuckles*

Um... you're welcome? :D

Although it may have been my computer... I'll try them out again.

EDIT: They worked this time; it was my comp.

Anyway, they're all good. The only problem I saw was that in "The End of the Jed", the dialogue was a bit choppy and things didn't flow too well.

Other than that, they're pretty good!


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Jade on November 02, 2009, 02:40:48 pm
I had to put the dialog from another member's story in there, since they both coincided.

Thanks for reading them!


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Flash-әdge on November 02, 2009, 02:45:03 pm
Ah, okay then.

No problem.


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: MsRowdyRedhead on November 02, 2009, 04:33:13 pm
They were excellend, MJ, tho I noticed the same thing Flash did..


Title: Re: My Short Stories
Post by: Jade on November 30, 2009, 11:57:55 am
I added some new stories, let me know what you think!