My LEGO Nexus Organization

Well I had to write a story for a class of mine on addictions. It could be true or a fiction and I choose to write mine based on fiction. The story could only be 1 page long so its kinda vague. Anyways tell me what you think. Its called "The Tragedy of Gabe" Please tell me what you think and if I should add anything. Also keep in mind Im over my 1 page limit so I can't add much ;)



Ever since that day Gabe always felt the urge. The day his parents died in a tragic car accident and he had to move into his aunt and uncles house. The day he smoked his first cigarette. And the day he would never forget for the rest of his life. The day he became hooked on smoking and his life turned upside down.
   Gabe aunt and uncle were heavy smokers and alcoholics he had never seen them without a cigarette or beer in their hand at one time or another. They lived in a small town a few blocks away from a local grocery store and police station. He had always hated visiting them and he couldn’t bear the thought of living with them. He would always have to listen to them yell and listen to the sound of police sirens since they lived so close to the station.
   From the moment he arrived his aunt and uncle treated him poorly and by the end of the day he couldn’t take it anymore. Just when he thought he’d rather die then put up with this, he saw a pack of cigarettes sitting on the coffee table. He looked at them in wonder. He had always heard they were bad for you, but he had also heard other things from kids at school. Things like “It makes you feel good” or “Its a great feeling every time you do it” and quite frankly he needed something to cheer himself up. He then reached out and grabbed the pack of cigarettes and shoved them into his pocket. He then proceeded to the kitchen were he found the drawer containing dozens of lighters his aunt and uncle used. He grabbed one and walked upstairs to his room slamming and locking his door behind him. All the while his aunt and uncle were swearing and and cursing at each other in the other room, the t.vs volume blaring through its speakers.
   Gabe's room was full of unopened boxes from the move. He sat down on the air mattress set out for him since his bed was still being brought over and took out the cigarettes. He opened the box and took one examining it. He then placed it in his mouth and lit it. Gabe took a deep breath in and then exhaled coughing a bit afterward. He continued this until next thing he knew it was early morning. His eyes were puffed up now and his lungs hurt, but he thought to himself, “boy do I feel better” as he was experiencing his high. He could still hear his aunt and uncles loud voices swearing over the t.v that was still on.
   Over the next few months Gabes smoking habits became worse. He went through a pack of cigarettes everyday. He stole them from his aunt and uncles stash and bought packs with his money he had been saving up for a new dirt bike.  He didn’t care about money anymore, just as long as he got his fix. Heck he didn’t even care about anything just as long as he could smoke. Occasionally he would feel bad about it. He felt ashamed about the fact he smoked sometimes, but that didn’t stop him as he soon got over it after smoking some more.
   It was then one day he realized how bad of a situation he was in. He seemed to always be coughing and his throat always was soar. He had lost all his friends and is grades were failing. He was out of money and his aunt and uncle had moved their stash elsewhere. But as bad as the situation was he couldn’t stop. He tried and tried but he found it impossible. It was then on one rainy day he ran out of cigarettes. Desperate to find some he went on a rampage tearing things apart and breaking things. He thought he would go insane if he didn't get his daily fix. He ran downstairs and saw a pack of cigarettes lying on the kitchen counter. He sprinted over to them and grabbed them greedily lighting one and stuffing it into his mouth. It was then his uncle walked into the room and stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw. He yelled at Gabe saying things like “that's where all my cigarettes are going!!!” he reprimanded “dirty thief!”. His uncle ran over to the phone and called the cops. Reporting Gabe for thievery and stealing cigarettes. Gabe was horrified frozen where he stood ashamed and astonished at his clumsiness and stupidity, as he heard the officer at the other end of the phone talk and sirens blaring  in the distance.

Really good Korchi.

This one line seems awkward:

He would always have to listen to them yell and listen to the sound of police sirens since they lived so close to the station.

How about:

He would now have to listen to them yell all day and hear the sound of endless police sirens from the station down the street.

I request that you use a different name. -_-

Give it a rest Muddy, use my name if you want, I have an addictive personality, especially to anything Lego related, I'm still reading...

Ah sounds much better. Thanks, yeah now that I go back it does sound like a awkward sentence.

*sigh* now I have to type one non drug related for the second part of the assignment. I think I may do it on gambling.


@Tim -- sure I don't mind changing the name. Ok switched it to Gabe.

Try doing one on SHOPPING!!
I know this woman (me) who has 2 BEDROOMS turned into closets!! And they are full. You could have fun with that.

Or Hoarding ( watch the show " Horders" on A&E)

I'm not sure if that is the correct use of quotations, but if I were you, I'd change it to:

"'That's where all my cigarettes are going!!!,' he reprimanded. 'You dirty thief!'"


Sentence fragment there.


His uncle, as a result of being drunk, eventually lead to Tim's arrest...

If I find any more, I'll keep posting/editing. Looks good so far.

I was actually thinking about that as a possibility. I might do that... thanks for the feedback =)

@B~T -- Thanks B~T I added what you suggested and thanks for proof reading =)