My LEGO Nexus Organization

I'm pretty sure this is the first ever spoof in the Writing Board.

Well, I got this idea by reading "The Awesomest TLR Spoof" on BZP. So I'm going to write my own. I don't have the DVD, but I've seen teh movie, so I'll just divide it up into chapters at my own pace.

Just so you know, italics is narration, A name in front of a colon is the character speaking, and anything between two asteriks is narration.

NO GUEST WRITERS PLEASE. I work alone. =P

Chapter One: A New Beginning

Vakama: Gathered friends, we are-

Director: CUT! CUT! CUUUT!!

Vakama: Huh? Are we not going with that line? Ok, how about this: In the time, before time, on the great island of Mata Nui-

Director: Cuuuuuuuut!

Vakama: What? That line got canned too? Ok, fine: In a world, where evil is everpresent-

Director: Vakama, how do I put this gently...you're not in this movie! Why are you here, anyway?

Grim Reaper: *appears behind Vakama* Vakama...Um, what's your last name?

Vakama: My what? O_o

Grim Reaper: Never Mind...Vakama Vakamason, I have come for ye.

Vakama: WHAAAT? I'm not dead!

Grim Reaper: I know. But I'm also the enforcer of Paradoxes now. I take anyone who creates the risk of a paradox and sends them to a convinient pocket dimension where they won't be a vortex hazard to anyone. And you're not in this movie. Come with me... *grabs Vakama and leaves*

*15 seconds later, he comes back*

Grim Reaper: Oh, by the way, take this. *He hands the Director a square metal box with a red six on the front of it.* That's your paradox counter. Because you indirectly made Vakama come here for the movie, even though he isn't in this movie, you're taking the rap. Cause six more paradoxes and I'll be "forced" to incinerate you  >:D *leaves*

Director: Meep. Um...ACTION!

Mata Nui: It is said that all endings are merely beginnings waiting to be born.

Takua: Really? Who says that? *in a brilliant burst of light, Takua vanishes before everyone's eyes. Left in his place is a note that says "This will happen every time there's a paradox  hazard, rathr than me coming to you. Sincerely, Grim." The director's paradox counter turns to 5*

Director: *starts weeping* I'm doomed, and my movie is doomed to fail. Now..CAN WE GET BACK TO THE MOVIE!?

Mata Nui: My beginning was much the same.

Blue Tanma: Ah, how I love the color blue. Yup, nothin' beats blue. Blue eyes, blue skin, blue masks...it is SOO much better than red.

*mysterious red cylinders fall down on the Matoran as the great robot's eyes turn red and a stream of red energy flows within the Matoran Universe*

Blue Tanma:  >:( What does evil have against the color blue!?

Mata Nui: I was a towering giant, ruler of my own Universe.

Flashback

Mata Nui: Vote for me as ruler of the Universe, and I'll give you all a free cookie!

Great Beings: Anyone who wields a cookie with such authority must be a worthy Universe Ruler.

Present Day

Mata Nui: Fearless. Beholden to none. Until I was betrayed. All that I had been, all that I had known had been stripped from me by an ever-present evil: Magazine tabloids!

Flashback
Reporter: This week, the Makuta Inquirer reported that Mata Nui had rigged the voting for Ruler of the Universe by bribing the voters.

Present Day

Director: Wrap it up Mata Nui, we're running out of time for the first chapter!

Mata Nui: Blah blah blah betrayed blah blah blah powerless blah blah blah enslaved-

Director: That isn't what I meant.  ::)

Mata Nui: But part of me survived: My spirit. Captured and preserved by a Toa Warrior-

Director: WHOA WHOA WHOA. Lemme stop you right there. Matoro wore that thing for less than a minute. And some crusty old dead guy wore it for even less time. And it wasn't even used in combat, it was used to save you from untimely demise. AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. Geez, have a little more respect for the Toa, Mata Nui.

Mata Nui: >_< It was the Mask of Life.

The Mask of Life is hurtling through space. It crashes into a mysterious purple spaceship, filled with mysterious purple aliens. They are all identical, most likely cloned.

Mysterious Purple Alien Leader: Waaaaaaa! Lets-a fling this-a mask to Bara Magna! WALUIGI TIIIME!

...and so, the mask is flung to Bara Magna. Unfortunatly, the mask hits yet another spaceship: an Intergalactic Cruiser. It seems to piloted by the GTalkians...

Tim: Oooh, more Bionicle. Food Fight!!

CRX: No. We must let this mask fulfill it's destiny.

Tim: *throws mashed potatoes at the mask*

CRX: Graaah you stained it. >__< Now it's all yellow.

Tim: You are no fun, duuuude.

Bill_is_cool: I agr-*a brilliant flash of light takes away bill_is_cool, and the Paradox Counter resets to 5*

Director: *tackles Tim* CRX! Fire that thing to Bara Magna now!

CRX: *grunt* Sorry, I broke it. I like breaking things. But I'll fling this foam replacement I made to Bara Magna.

And so, the Mask of Foam lands on Bara Magna safely. No one has heard from Tim since that little incident.

Mata Nui: *is trapped inside a little shard of remaining Mask of Life* hellooooooo?? Anyone??

---

@_@ That wore me out. :P

Let me just say that breaking the third wall so many times is much easier than it seems. And we haven't seen the last of the Purple Aliens or the Paradox Counter. =D

EDIT: Adding Chapter index...

Chapter 2: Arrival (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg196486.html#msg196486)
Chapter 3: Battle in Vulcanus (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg196977.html#msg196977)
Chapter 4: A Plan (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg197333.html#msg197333)
Chapter 5: Desert Battle (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg197582.html#msg197582)
Chapter 5^1/2: The Epic Chapter (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg197963.html#msg197963)
Chapter 6: Arrival in Tajun (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg201239.html#msg201239)
Chapter 7: The Cave (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg201319.html#msg201319)
Chapter 8: Ride to Tesera (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg202786.html#msg202786)
Chapter 9: The End of the System (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg205321.html#msg205321)

Great job. You had me laughing throughout the whole chapter. Now, after you're finished, you should start on the other three movies. =P

Yeah. Problem is, TLR is the only one I've seen. I have the book for LoMN, and the book Web of the Visorak, but neither of those gives me a complete look at the movies.

And let me just say I will be making a LOT of pop culture references in this spoof. :P

Hmm... That could be a problem. If only the others were still in stores. =P

I found the inclusion of GTalk to be hilarious. xD

Thank you. =P

And also, this isn 't the last we've seen of the GTalkians or Takua. Or should I say Taco. [/spoilersforchapter2]

Chapter Two should be up later today (It's much easier to write spoofs than it is to come up with your own stories. :P)

Gah, you beat me to doing a spoof...

Though the first part I know I have seen before...

EDIT: Changed the opening a bit....

Chapter Two: Arrival

The Mask of Foam catches on fire and explodes as it's flying through space towards Bara Magna...meanwhile, rival alien races known as Waluigians and GTalkians are searching for all of the shards of the Mask of Life...

Head of the Waluigians: Waaaa! We've gathered all of the Mask of Life shards!

Director: Wait, what are you morons doing in this movie? I never even approved your first cameo appear-

*in a brilliant burst of light, the Waluigians all vanish and the Paradox counter resets to 4*

Director: o___O Dooooooooooomed. At least I approved the GTalkians...

With ease, the GTalkians recapture all of the pieces of the Mask of Life. Their slave, Hemmit-

Director: Hemmit? Isn't that timmeh sp-

WHO'S TIMMEH? I KNOW NOTHING OF THIS TIMMEH. Their slave Hemmit glues the mask back together and spraypaints it yellow. The GTalkians then inspect it,  making sure it's not going to fall apart. Satisfied, they fire it to Bara Magna...

The Mask of Life crashes into Bara Magna, scaring away a large group of Scarabax Beetles. Unfortunatly, a Scarabax Beetle named Clack does not escape in time and is severly injured by the Mask. Her brother, Click, comes to investigate.

Clack: Mother, is that you?

Click: CLACK, DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!!

Clack: *cough, cough* Brother...

Click: Yes?

Clack: I want you to know...it was me who destroyed all of your 2001 Bionicle
Comics.

Click:  >:( But you said it was my pet amobea!!

Clack: I'm sorry...but please fulfill my last wish...AVENGE MY DEATH! KILL THE WEIRD THING MADE OF GLUE-

Meanwhile, on the Intergalactic Cruiser...

CRX: *shudders* I feel a disturbance...*punches Hemmit*

Back on Bara Magna

Clack: AND METAL!! *dies*

Click: Noooooo! Sister!  :'(
...
I will fulfill her wish. *goes over to the mask* You going DOWN, you...thing!

Suddenly, a huge vortex of sand begins to form around the Mask. It then begins to shape body of Mata Nui.

Clack: Ugh...I'm alive! I came back to li-*gets sucked into the vortex and is instantly vaporized*

Click: RETREAT!!! *runs away*

The vortex then stops, and Mata Nui takes his first steps...

Mata Nui: Graah my legs fell asleep on the flight >_<

Click: Chaaaaaaaaaarge! *charges towards the huge body, and stops short* Aaagh! O_O Giant foot!

Mata Nui: *stops foot right before he crushes Click* It's alright little one. I won't hurt you.

Click: Hm. He doesn't seem to be hostile. Engaging attack sequence. Must eliminate mask. Must eliminate mask. *crawls up onto Mata Nui*

Mata Nui: Aaah, it's the mask you're interested in.

Click: What was your first clue? ::) Must eliminate mask. Must eliminate mask. *starts poking mask*

Suddenly, Click begins to glow.

Click: DANGER. DANGER. ABORT! ABORT! *Click attempts to jump off of Mata Nui. Unfortunatly, he transforms into a shield as soon as he reaches Mata Nui's hand.*

Click: Aaagh! I'm...FAT! D:

Mata Nui: Magnificent...*is surprised when the shield blinks* As you can see...?

Vorox: *sees tall, cool-looking figure* I'ma gonna huuuuuuuuuuug you! O_O

Mata Nui: Aaaaah! Toa gone mad!

Click: Aaaah! Vorox gone mad AND Glatorian gone mad! (what's a Toa??)

Vorox: *attacks Mata Nui with tail, Mata Nui blocks* I'MA GONNA HUUUUUUUUUUUUG YOU!! O_O

The Vorox attempts to take out Mata Nui with it's tail, however, the tail breaks off when it hits a boulder. Aaaah! Mr. Tail! Noooo! *runs away*

Mata Nui: *phew* *picks up tail* Hehehe...

Director: Who hired that crazy Vorox? And how did we go so many lines without a cameo or paradox?

Takua: *walks up* Hi there, director!

Director O____O HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE POCKET DIMENSION?!

Takua: Oh, I'm not Takua. I'm his clone. He made me in case he caught on fire or the Grim Reaper began enforcing Paradox Prevention and came and took him away to a convineint pocket dimension. ;D

Director: O_o

*Takua's clone vanishes, and the Paradox Counter resets to 3*

Director: Oh dang...I can only afford three more parad-

Takua: Hi, there Director! I'm on of Takua's 15 clones!

Director: Doooooooooomed. >___< Quick, put this costume on! *hands Takua a Taco costume* If anyone asks, you're a Taco Delivery Man. (very loudly) Thanks for getting those here so quickly, Taco. Here's your tip *hands Taco a dollar*

Taco: What, one dollar? Cheapskate. HEY MR. REAPER!!

Director: >__< *Covers Taco's mouth and hands him 5 dollars*

Grim Reaper: You rang?

Director: NO HE DIDN'T! YOU CAN JUST LEAVE NOW!

Taco: Actually, I wanted to say that this guy-

Director: *hands Taco a $20*

Taco: is a GREAT tipper!

Director: *phew*

Reaper: Oh, well then he won't mind giving me a $100 for my services...;D

Director: *gives Taco evil eye* *gives Reaper a $100 dollar bill*

Reaper: Thanks! *leaves*

Director: That was close. Now Taco, why don't you go jump in a lake or something?

Taco: Ok!

Suddenly, a strange vehicle drives up to Mata Nui. He was surprised that it was even able to move.

Mata Nui: Is this another attack...?

Metus: State your buisness.

Mata Nui: Just a traveler, looking for the nearest city.

Metus: Well then, you might as wel-

Sisters of Skrall: Don't bother. We can use our psychic powers to tell this joke will suck.

Metus: >_> Well....to answer your question, the nearest village is Vulcanas. I have some buisness there if you-

Mata Nui: *knocks Metus out of the Thornatus and jumps behind the wheel* Thanks for the ride! *notices the GPS on the dashboard of the Thornatus* This makes it even easier. *drives off*

Click: No wonder they kicked you out of the Matoran Universe. >_>

Metus: So, it's a nice vehicle, huh?

Mata Nui:  :o How did you get in here!?

Metus: Oh, that guy driving was my clone. I'm the real Metus.

Director: Where is EVERYONE getting these cloning machines?!

Berix: *whistles innocently*

Mata Nui: What happened here?

Metus: Who knows? Although if I'd have to guess I'd say-

Mata Nui: Evil.

Metus: I was going to say earthquake, maybe a major war between six armies led by warriors with elemental powers over a mysterious liquid that contained epic transformational powers and split the planet into 3 pieces thus sending the Vorox into a death spiral and banning us from ever creating anything new and making live in shabby little huts. But evil works.

Director: ::)

Awesome awesome awesome. I liked the Taco part. xP

Agreed. ;D

Wow, pure awesomeness! ('cept you can't beat Po from Kungfu Panda, his is blinding)

The director is gonna get incinerated soon... >:D

Nice job, I was laughing the whole time!

My personal favorite part was when Clack came back to life, but got sucked into the vortex and killed. xP

EDIT: Here comes #3 (again)

---

Chapter Three: Battle in Vulcanus

Mata Nui and Metus approach Vulcan-

Click: What, I'm not important enough to be in the narration?? D=

...>_< Mata Nui, Metus and Click approach Vulcanus, they hear chanting coming from a large arena.

Metus: Oooh, it looks like we're just in time. *checks watch* *gasp* Oh no, I'm 10 minutes LATE!

Mata Nui: For what?

Metus: My tea party! The hatter of Vulcanus invited me.

Meanwhile at the hatter's house

Mad Hatter: Aah, he's late. OH WELL! *sips tea* *in a brilliant burst of light, the hatter dissapears and the Paradox Counter resets to 2*

Director: Dooomed.

Taco: Hey, Mr. Director!

Director: O_O What are you doing here!? Quick, leave before-

Taco: Oh, I'm actually AM a Taco delivery man now. Here are your Flamin' Hot Tacos, sir.

Grim Reaper: *appears*

Director: Uh-oh. *glances at Paradox Counter* Wh-why are y-you here?

Grim Reaper: I have come for you...r tacos. I have come for your tacos. *grabs some tacos and leaves*

Director: *shudders*

Metus: *receives text messege* Ah, dang it.

Mata Nui: What is it?

Metus: The Director just texted me from the tea party and said the Hatter...imploded. So, the party's cancelled. He'll save some tea for me though. So, I guess we'll go with plan B.

Mata Nui: Which is...?

Metus: You'll see.

A giant Taco costume comes flying out of nowhere on the road-

Director: >=D

-and Mata Nui suffers brain damage, temporarily messing up his vision.

Mata Nui: Click, take the wheel.

Click: *hops onto the wheel and starts steering*

Mata Nui, Metus-

Click:*tenses, hoping the narrator will remember him*

-and Click arrive in Vulcanus and enter a large arena.

Metus: Mata Nui, me-

Click: First the Narrator....not you, too! :'(

Metus: -et Raanu, leader of Vulcanus.

Raanu: Ah yes, welcome.

Mata Nui: Hey, you're the dad from Phine-

Director: I'M WARNING YOU! *glances nervously at Paradox Counter*

Mata Nui: Anyway...nice to meet you.

Raanu: *gestures towards Ackar* What do you think?

Mata Nui: He fights without fear. This is a rare quality. Well, I guess all Toa are fearless actually. And Skakdi. And Dark Hunters. And Arthaka and Tren Krom and Karzhani and the Barraki and-

Raanu: Anyway...but he's lost his taste for battle. And once a Glatorian loses heart, it's not long before he must meet exile.

Mata Nui: Is Exile a friend of yours?

Raanu: No...but I suppose that is why Metus brought you here.

Metus: *gasp*

Mata Nui: I don't understand...you want me to meet Exile?

Metus: Now now Raanu, let's not get ahead of ourselves. There's plenty of time to find a new First Glatorian for Vulcanus. Did I mention that I recruit Glatorian?

Mata Nui: I knew I should have listened to mom and not taken rides from strangers...

Ackar spots an opening in Strakk's defenses and strikes, sending Strakk flying back 30 feet.

Mata Nui: HOLY COW! Don't you guys have any respect for the laws of physics??

Strakk: Actually, I have no respect for the law in general.

Ackar: Concede. *pant* Yield to me, and this goes no further.

Strakk: Alright Ackar...you win. D=<

Mata Nui: Something in the fallen one's tone is not right. Sure enough, as soon as Ackar turns his back, he reaches for his weapon.

Metus: Who is he TALKING TO?

Click: Don't get me started.

Strakk: *hurls axe at Ackar*

Random Fire Agori: Look out, Ackar!

Strakk: Dude, there's no way he could dodge it ANYWAY.

The axe sends Ackar flying like 20 feet and-man, these guys really DON'T follow the laws of physics. Ackar goes flying through the air.

Peter Pan: You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!

Director: *braces for the burst of light* *none comes* Huh, where's the Reaper?

Meanwhile at the Grim Reaper's house

Reaper: OOOOH. Ack. THAT is the Tacos at work. uuuuuuugh.

back to the action

Director: *stomach growls* Excuse me...

Mata Nui: You can this honor?! He was clearly the victor!

Raanu: We're just AGORI. We're not going to fight a Glatorian.

Mata Nui: Ohhhh, that's what you think. *picks up Rannu and throws him into the arena*

Raanu: AAAH! *hits Peter Pan and sends him plummeting to his death* Whew. At least I landed on this soft green cushion.

Mata Nui: Oh dear...I guess I need to handle this. You ready for this Click?

Click: Wait, what!? *runs up to Mata Nui's head and tries to jump off, but gets turned into shield* OH NO I'M DOOMED!

Mata Nui: *jumps into arena*

Strakk: you're finished old-

Ackar: WHOAWHOAWHOA. WHOOOOA. Before you start calling ME old, remember that you're older than 100,000 years old too.

Mata Nui: *tackles Strakk*

Strakk: *gets up* I'll cut you down for that, outsider!

Mata Nui: Do I LOOK like a tree to you?

Strakk: *swings axe at Mata Nui, knocking him down* *knocks away shield*

Ackar: Strakk, no! Your fight is with ME!

Strakk: Yeah, what was your first clue?

Mata Nui: *blocks with stinger tail* This tail can't hold for long...

Strakk: *uses Axe to push the stinger tail up against Mata Nui's mask*

Director: Oh come on, what are the odds of THAT!?

Taco: What are the odds of you getting out of the bathroom in this few lines?

Director: Fair enough.

*suddenly, the tail turns into a huge powerful sword*

Strakk: How did-

Mata Nui: *knocks Strakk to the ground* Oh sure, NOW the laws of physics start working, when I am fighting. D=<

...Concede.

Strakk: alright...

Mata Nui: FOR ALL TO HEAR!!

Strakk: I...concede!

Fire Agori: *cheer*

Mata Nui: *helps Ackar up*

Ackar: Your victory, your shield.

Mata Nui: In case you haven't noticed, I have something far better than a shield-a bug!

Ackar: Alright...*throwes shield away, hitting Raanu on the head*

*sees everyone leaving* How quickly they forget...I am an outcast already.

Mata Nui: It's never too late to win them back.

Ackar: You sould like the Mad Hatter.

Thank stinks. Couldn't you have just pressed Ctrl-Z?

I'm about as computer literate as legodac, you know. I thought there was a way to get it back, but wasn't sure.

*tests it* Graah >_> If only I'd known...

EDIT: Alrighty, #3 is up. =D

Awesome awesome again. 8)

I loved the part about the soft green cushion. :D Can't wait for Chapter 4 now. :P

Thanks. I'm hoping to keep making each chapter better than the last. =D And let me just say in advance that Mata Nui vs. Tuma is going to be hilarious. But that's at least 4 to 7 chapters down the road. :P

My favorite line to write was "In case you haven't noticed, I have something far better than a shield-a bug!" xP

You're welcome! ;D

Oh, and I have a suggestion. You should put a link for the other chapters under the first post, like:

Chapter Two: Arrival (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg196486.html#msg196486)
Chapter Three: Battle in Vulcanus (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg196977.html#msg196977)

Then you wouldn't have to look everywhere. ;)

Meh, I think I'll leave it as is. Thanks for the suggestion tho.

EDIT:

Chapter 4-A Plan

Director: A Plan!? What kind of a name is that?

Taco: This coming from a guy named Bob Smith. ZING!

Director: ::)

Ackar, Mata Nui and Click are in Ackar's hut. Mata Nui notices all of the shields on the walls.

Mata Nui: You've only won this many?? You've won like what, 1000 matches and all you have to show for it is like 75 shield!?

Ackar: ::) Yes, I've won these. But what good will they do me now? I mean, pretty soon I'm going to have to sell them just so I can pay my mortgage.

Mata Nui: Again, SERIOUSLY!? You were a prime Glatorian, you're over 100,000 years old, WHY DIDN'T YOU BUY THIS HUT!? Who is writing this script anyway?

Meanwhile, at the Bionicle Department of Lego HQ, a Zesk is working at his typewriter.

Zesk: Ch...pt....r 5: D..s..rt...b...ttl...Th...s.. .w...ld...b....s...r...f...h. .d....f...ng...rs.

Back at Ackar's house

Mata Nui: Ackar has won a match, but he doesn't seem happy about it.

Click: Maybe someday I'll find out who he's talking to.

Mata Nui: If you don't enjoy fighting, why do you do it?

Ackar: Duty. Pride. But a Glatorian past his prime is no good to anyone.

Mata Nui: Duuuude, you were awesome in that arena. If that was past your prime, I don't want to know what's IN your prime.

Ackar: ...so, what are you going to do now?

Mata Nui: I'm going to find a way home...to mother.

Mata Nui's mom: YAY! I'll get your room ready!

Ackar: And...where is that?

Mata Nui: You probably won't believe me...but my home is on another world entirely.

Click: Yeah, he has this little imaginary world he lives in. ZING!

Taco: High five!

Kiina: I knew it! PROOF! Proof what I've been saying for years!

Ackar: AAH! BURGALAR! *sprays Kiina with pepper spray*

Kiina: AAGH! MY EYE...things!

Mata Nui: *draws huge sword*

Click: Whoa, how long have you been carrying that thing? I didn't even notice it until now?

Mata Nui: That's cartoon physics for you. =P

Kiina: *recovers* Well...yay! Woohoo! *does lame victory dance*

Spongebob: AND IT'S OURS FOR THE TAKING....IT'S OURS FOR THE FIGHT! IN THE SWEEEET SWEEEEEET SWEEET VICTORY! *dissapears in brilliant burst of light, and the Director's paradox counter resets to 1*

Director: Oooh boy, I need to hire an intern. T_T

Kiina: Wow...a real other-worlder.

Click: Racist, huh?

Kiina: Eeeew! There's a Scarabax on your shoulder! Gresh, hold me!

Click: Wow. Racist and speciesist. I bet a lot of people come to your birthday parties. =P

Me: I KNEW IT! THEY DO LOVE EACH OTHER! I WIN! =D

Ackar: Don't be a wimp, Kiina.

Anyway...don't worry. Kiina is a friend. Although I don't agree with some of her methods-like lurking in the shadows-as far as Glatorian go, Kiina ranks. I trust her with my life.

Click: *edges for the door* I don't think this guy is mentally healthy.

Ackar: And on an unrelated note, I really need to get some tech support to help set up that home security system I got last month. Dang newfangled gadgetromity.

Kiina: Name's Kiina.

Mata Nui: Yeah, I kinda figured that out.

Kiina: I'm a Glatorian. One of the best.

Mata Nui: Ackar, I can't believe any of you Glatorian could lose...to a GIIIIIIIIRL. ;D

Kiina: So, you need a way back to your home. I might be able to help. But on one condition: When you leave, I come with you. I want out of this dump.

Ackar: Let me show you the door. ::)

Mata Nui: What did you have in mind?

Kiina: Well, there's this cave under my village full of old gadgets and stuff.

Ackar: Gadgets, huh? Well, I'm not going to be of any use.

Click: Wow, Kiina. Breaking and entering, trespassing onto a private lab...and you guys say STRAKK is bad.

Kiina: Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff, like an old record player, a movie projecter, a HUGE slingshot, etc.

Mata Nui: Slingshot. Hmmm...=D

Director: Man, how we made it through this chapter with so few pop culture references, I will never know. By the way guys, meet Carl. He's my new intern.

Sweet. And yeah, that was interesting how there wasn't that many pop culture references.

xD Did you notice the Disney reference in the last line of Chapter 4? Hehe. I made that one for mtm, cuz' he watches the show, but he doesn't seem to want to read this. =/

Fun Fact: I originally planned to use the Zesk joke in Chapter 3.

Hmm... What show? I think I may know it, but at the same time, I don't...

Phineas and Ferb. =P

Carl the Intern is one of the minor characters on that show.

It's fun to add little easter eggs like that. It might seem hard, but it ain't. And the Spongebob reference too...I loved the episode Band Geeks. xD

I wonder if I'm posting these too quickly...

Because I just wing it when I write things. All 4 chapters were written with no prep whatsoever. I just make it up as I go. =P

Ah. I noticed your reference to it in the battle chapter, when Mata Nui started to say it. =P

And no, in fact, you might be going too slow... *wants more*

Yay for Spongebob!!! ;D ;D I like it how Mata says something completely off, and Ackar just goes along with script. :D Oh and when Mata Nui's talking to the air, it's from comic 4, right?

I do that with anything I write, except when I'm required to write an outline. :P

Carl...
 Maybe we'll get a platypus joke next time? =P

@uraw-yes. Comic 4. =D

@hero-perhaps...

@Blade-uh-oh. *grabs chair* Back, back you hungry reader! =P

Hmmmm... the next chapter should be interesting, due to the fact that the paradox counter is at one. ;D You think you could get it in by tonight?

Perhaps. And Carl will be taking over the movie by the end of the next chapter. ;D

But don't be alarmed, this isn't the end of the Director. He'll just be on hiatus for a few chapters.

Oh no! Carl is a little smart yet dumb. :P

Are firefighters gonna be spraying him down? :D

Oh no, it will be much more interesting than that. >=D

EDIT: It's he-ere. =D

Chapter Five: Desert Battle

Kiina, Ackar, Mata Nui and Click are riding through the desert on their Thornatus-

Metus: CARJACKERS! THEY GOT AWAY!! *runs to meet up with the Bone Hunters* They went that way...

Director: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF THE SCREEN! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO REVEAL THE AWFUL TRUTH UNTIL CHAPTER 7!

Metus: Err, that's what I would say if I was Metus...but I'm actually...um...some random Ice Agori.

Director: >_<

-but as they get further in, Ackar grows tense.

Ackar: I don't like this!

Click: Well duh. Aren't you reading the narration?

Ackar: This is the perfect place for an ambush.

Kiina: Please. Even Bone Huners wouldn't be crazy enough to chase THREE Glatorian. And if it came to it, we could throw Mata Nui and his beetle to them and floor it.

Mata Nui and Click: :o

Kiina: Why do you even keep that beetle around? Is it your pet?

Click: This "it" has a gender. ::)

Kiina: What do you call him? Click?

Mata Nui: Yes, that is a fitting name...I shall call him Micheal!

Kiina: ::)

Mata Nui: Alright, Click works...

Click: What, I don't have a say in naming myself??

Taco: Well it's not like babies name themselves.

Click: ...you calling me a baby? YOU CALLIN' ME A BABY!?

Taco: What does it mean when he makes those clicking noises?

Director: I don't know. But it's so darn cute. <3

Click: YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND ME!?

Taco: Of course we can't.

Click: Then why did you just-

Taco: I mean, that's what I'd say if I had any clue what he was saying. I wonder if he just makes those clicks randomly? His brain is so tiny...

Click: >_<

Ackar: They're getting bolder! Skrall too! In the past months they seem to know our every move.

Mata Nui: When an enemy knows too much it can only mean one thing: a traitor!

Ackar: I was thinking the same thing: It must mean they have a personal trainer.

Mata Nui: NO, I SAID TRAITOR!

Ackar: Whaaaat?? I can't here you over this doggone wind.

Mata Nui: So, I wonder who it could be...*everyone stares at Click*

Click: What? Why's everyone staring? Why are you getting out that shoooe? Sweet mama, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT ROLLED UP MAGAZINE?!?
Mata Nui: *takes rolled up magazine*

Click: *braces*

Mata Nui: *throws magazine onto the road, and about 10 seconds later, a Rock Steed trips on it, promptly faceplanting itself into the sand and flinging its rider towards a rock wall*

Ackar: I told you they know our every move.

Bone Hunter: Don't pick your nose Ackar, the camera is about to turn to you!

Cameraman and Ackar: O_O He's a psychic!

Kiina: Hang on tight! *floors it* *throwes dummies that look like Mata Nui and Click behind them* I told you it would help to bring Gata Rui and Slick along. =D

Bone Hunters: *fire Thornaxes at the foursome*

Kiina: Um, guys? I think we have a bigger problem! Look!

Skopio rises out of the sand, somehow being able to hide down there so long.

Skopio: *Screech* O_o No wait, that didn't come out right. *growl* Wait, one more time. *ROOOOOAR* Much better.

Kiina: ...Aagh! Spider! Hold me Gresh!

Skopio: *facepalm* I'm a *due to lifting up one if his legs to facepalm, Skopio falls over* Ouchie.

Ackar: Ok, I have a plan...*grabs Taco*

Taco: Wait, what are you doi-aah! *Ackar throws Taco up onto the controls of Skopio* Muwhaha. I AM IN CONTROL! *fires Thornax laucher at the Bone Hunters* *evil laugh* BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Director: This is why I never leave Taco alone with the microwave.

With the Bone Hunters all blown up, Taco proceeds to use Skopio to knock over the Thornatus.
Taco: Surrender to me, lower-priced vehicles and canister sets!

Mata Nui: I have an idea. You two, get to the chariot.

Click: I don't really think Sahmad will want to hand over the Baranus V7. Unless of course you were referring to the Thornatus, which is nowhere near the definition of a chariot. ::)

Mata Nui: *climbs up Skopio's leg*

Skopio: Whoa, whoa, hands off the merchandise, bub!

Mata Nui: Surrender, Taco. And get off of the Skopio. *click transforms into a shield, and Mata Nui is fully armed*

Taco: Oh, bring it on, old man! *Taco levitates into the air, and a sword that seems to be made of hot sauce forms in his hands*

Mata Nui: YOU CAN FLY?! What is the Taco place you work at FEEDING you?!

Takua: Oh, I can do much more than fly and generate a flaming sword in my hand. *uses heat to damage the Scarabax Shield*

Click: Ouch! IT BURNS!!!

Mata Nui: Thankfully, Click is in shield form, so he feels no pain at all. =)

Taco's heat sword suddenly materializes into an actual sword.

Taco: *swings sword*

Mata Nui: *blocks with shield*

Taco: *knocks Scarabax Shield into the wall*

Click: Ouuuch.

Taco: *knocks MN's sword away* Concede. Yield to me, and this goes no further.

Mata Nui: Wrong chapter. =P

Taco: Now meet the fate of the defeated!

Mata Nui: ...and that line was from a Bionicle Comic.

As Taco prepares to deal Mata Nui the finishing blow, Kiina floors it on the Thornatus, and she and Ackar zoom away.

What will happen next?? Tune in next time to...Chapter 5^1/2!!

...which will be up later.

Well that was certainly interesting, and Taco's gone rogue. =P

Yeah. I think that was the best chapter so far. It was definately the most fun to make. =P

Chapter 5^1/2: The Epic Chapter

Previously on Bionicle: The Legend Reborn Spoof-Taco reveals his powers that he obtained due to exposure to the nuclear radiation they put in Flamin' Hot Tacos-

Director: I knew there was something...funky in those tacos. *burps out fire* O___o

And has put himself into the movie. He has taken out the Bone Hunters, but taken  over Skopio. Mata Nui now challenges him in a sword duel. Meanwhile, Kiina and Ackar are getting the heck out of there

Mata Nui: *swings sword*

Taco: *is knocked back onto a rock floating on the lava in-wait, what the heck? Where'd all this lava come from!?*

Mata Nui: *hops off skopio and shoots him with a Tranquilizer Gun* Surrender Taco. I have the higher ground.

Taco: You underestimate my powers.

Director: Really? A Star Wars reference? That explains the lava, I guess.

Taco: *flies up onto the big rock Mata Nui is standing*

Mata Nui: *uses sword to knock Taco into the lava*

Taco: OUCH! *dissappears from the screen*'

Mata Nui: That was easy.

Taco comes floating onto the screen in an air bubble, and begins shaking-

Director: And now a NSMBWii reference? I'm suprised Grim hasn't-*Paradox counter resets to 0 and Taco dissapears in a brilliant burst of light* Uh-oh.

Grim Reaper: *appears* Your time has come, Director. *incinerates Director*

Director: That's what you think!

Reaper: Whaa!? I just incinerated you!

Director: That was my clone. I was prepared for this, so at the end of Chapter 5, I replaced myself with this clone and went out on a quest for the Kanohi Olmak. So long, sucker! *teleports to the Kingdom Ultimate Alternate Universe*

Well, I should be safe here for a while.

Taco, Spongebob Mad Hatter, Waluigians, Takua, and Vakama: Hi Director!

Director: Seriously? SERIOUSLY!? He just takes you here? This is ridiculous.

Taco: No, what's really ridiculous is this: VISORAK, CHAAAAARGE!

The Visorak capture the Director and hang him up in a web.

Taco: What's really ridiculous is that the seven of us conquered this whole Universe. >=D And you will plummet to your doom from that web...I'd say "Turn into a hideous freak as well", but you're already one. =P

Director: ::)

The webbing is starting to break...

Back to the action

Carl: ...I guess I'm the director now. Glad all that's over.

Mata Nui: The reign of the previous director or Taco?

New Director (Carl): The reign of the previous director. =P

Grim Reaper: Meh, I don't think this movie is going to be a big problem, so I think I can let all of your paradox hazards slide.

New Director: Lemme guess, you only gave the Director that Paradox Counter because you hated him?

Grim Reaper: ;D Yes. I' not really the paradox enforcer.
Mata Nui: Well, that takes care of-

Skopio: ROOOOOOAR!

Mata nui: OH NO!

But suddenly, a green furry figure with a strange hat appears out of nowhere and kicks Skopio into the lava.

Mata Nui: I don't know what just happened...but cool!

The Skopio (the vehicle based off of Skopio) falls out of the sky convieniently, and Mata Nui  and Click, who has returned to normal get in.

Kiina: I wonder if we should have stayed behind for Mata Nui...

Ackar: Meh, he's probably Skopio Lunch by now.

Kiina: Then what's that thing I see in the mirror??

Mata Nui and Click: *catch up with the two and get onto the Thornatus V9*

Ackar: Erm...I knew you'd defeat them!

Mata Nui: ::) Fine, I'll let you get away with it this once. Only because you owe me.

Kiina: And because I can help you get into the secret ca-OH MY GOODNESS!

As Kiina, Mata Nui, Ackar and Click approach Tajun, it looks totally normal except nobody is there.

Mata Nui: Is that...?

Ackar: Kiina's village.

Mata Nui: I was going to say "Bikini Bottom".

New Director: ::)

What was that green furry thing with a hat? =P

It was what Herochild requested. =P

Ok, I'll admit 5^1/2 wasn't as great as I wanted. but it was at least a bit more epic than the others, and it WAS a 1/2 chapter. =

It's... Peeeerrrrrry!!! (pronounced how that lady says it whenever Perry's going to his secret lair :P)

lol, I somehow knew the director would clone himself. ;D Oh, and for this whole time until now, I thought Click was actually talking. xD Thanks for telling me.

Chapter 6: Arrival in Tajun

Kiina, Ackar, Mata Nui and Click arrive in Tajun, only to find the place trashed. And I mean TRASHED. BIG TIME. 'course, it probably isn't that different from what it used to look like-

Kiina: SHUT UP ALREADY! I'm kind of having a moment here! My village is ruined.

Ackar: It doesn't actually look that different, really. Just no Agori and I think I see smoke from some sort of bonfire.

Tuma: Hold up your eggnog and take another swig!

Ackar: It's worse than I thought....they've gone country!! Dx

Click: I happen to like Country music. And I'm pretty sure the author does too. =P

Kiina: This is all my fault...if I had been here this wouldn't have happened....Tarix! He was out in Tesera for a practice match...and Gresh! He was here for a training section earlier today! He would have been TOTALLY creamed by the Skrall...because I mean really, those guys are awesome.  They could cream any army, let alone one Rookie Glator-

Director: WE GET IT ALREADY!

Suddenly, Gresh comes limping out of Tajun...badly injured.

Kiina: It's Gresh! And he's hurt! I'm so sorry that this happened sweet-

Ackar: You do realize that this is supposed to be an action movie? Now just go help him already. *Ackar and Kiina go over to support Gresh*

Mata Nui: The boy seems to be hurt...

Ackar: Yeah, thanks Captain Schizophrentic. ::)

Gresh: Bone Hunters and Skrall...working together...

Ackar: That's redonkulos...even more redonkulos than the Earth not being flat.

Gresh: C'mon guys, I'm fi-*collapses*

Kiina: Lemme go check... *Kiina walks up onto a large rock formation*

Tuma: *gives various orders to Bone Hunters*

Kiina: OMIGOSH...it's true! Bone Hunters and Skrall working together! Ackar! Ackar!! ACKAR!!! You've got to come see this!!

The Bone Hunters and Skrall walk off to somewhere as Ackar appears.

Ackar:... Ok, I give up. Where are the Bone Hunters and Skrall you mentioned?

Kiina: *turns around and sees they're gone* But...but...they were RIGHT THERE!!

Ackar: Oh great...she's delusional. O_O

Mata Nui: Perhaps we should go to this cave of yours Kiina...unless you made it up and were just hungry for attention.

Kiina: ::) That's a good idea though.

Kiina and Ackar carry Gresh into the cave while Mata Nui and Click follow...

Kiina: Um, Mata Nui? "Mr. Former Ruler of the Universe"? You too good to do physical labor? Gresh's hunkiness and manliness make him very hard to carry. <3

Ackar: Youo know, now is a bad time to hit on him. He's like, dying. You know, nothing major.

Gresh: Yeah, what he said.

Kiina touches her staff to the stone wall in front of them, and it opens up.

Mata Nui: The Force is strong in this one. Very strong indeed.

They enter the room, and lay down Gresh on a strange table that seems rather small for people who create so many gigantic things...

Mata Nui: This seems rather odd...why do the Great Beings have such a tiny lab?

Kiina: Dude, aren't you reading the narration? That same EXACT question was asked ONE LINE ago and now you're

Ackar: GUYS, STOP! These jokes are getting lamer and lamer and Gresh is on his deathbed!

Kiina: Actually, he's on his death table. Heh heh.

Ackar: Case in point. ::)

Mata Nui stares at strange writing at the wall written in Matoran...even though it's only gibberish...

Mata Nui: Oh dear....OH BOY...the Great Beings are...are...are....ILLITERATE!! =O

Kiina: We need to do something...

Ackar: *checks him* He's still alive.

Mata Nui: But not for long. Heheheh. *pulls blunt knife out of belt*

Click: Wait, how long has he had a belt? O_o

Suddenly, there is a noise from the corner...Kiina, Ackar and Mata Nui draw their weapons. Click braces himself for impending doom...

Berix: Don't attack! It's just me! Berix! Your trusty Agori future chronicler and the much-needed comic relief guy to replace Click!

Click: All I heard was blah blah blah replace blah blah blah Click. And I don't like what I'm hearing. D=

Kiina: YOU! You dirty little theif! I told you if I ever saw you in here again I'd- *lunges toward Berix*

Ackar: WHOAWHOAWHOA. Hold up, kids. Don't fight. We can reslove this peacefu-*Kiina shoves Ackar out of the way*

Kiina: YAAAAAH!

Berix: *scream* *dodges*

Ackar: *sigh* STOP IT NAO!

Berix: Wait, wait! I can help Gresh!

Kiina: Yeah, help him die. =P

Berix: No, I can heal him. I've had to patch myself up a few times-

Kiina: After you get mauled for STEALING.

Berix: Col-lect-ing. And I have the right to collect whatever I want.

Mata Nui: *checks Matoran Universe Constitution* Nope, that right isn't in here.

Berix: *holds up Scroll of Laws of Bara Magna* Yes, but it says in here I can! See! Right there.

Kiina: That's the 3rd Version. We're currently in Version 7. Besides, where'd you get that?

Berix: ...found it.

Gresh: Still dying here. Just thought I'd mention that.

Ackar, Mata Nui, Kiina, Berix and Click: Yeah, well, nobody cares.

Everybody hates Gresh now. D= But, ZLS did say he was top heavy. I like the SW reference because MN's saying it, and he's sounds like Vader. :P Is chapter 7 coming today still? Oh, and what happened to the old director?

Sadly, no. Chapter 7 will be tommorow. And, to anwser your question, Carl is pretty much the Director persona now. However, to make up for it, I changed the opening of Chapter One, and here comes the Tuma Battle Teaser:

Chapter (Unknown): Conflict With Tuma

Tuma: Well, well, the coward has come for a battle.

Mata Nui: Are you willing to fight me alone? Or are you the true coward?

Tuma: NO ONE CALLS TUMA A COWARD! I WILL FIGHT YOU ALONE!

Mata Nui: Heheh. Sucker. ;D

Tuma: Are you ready to Duel, Mata Nui?

Mata Nui: Yes. And I'll start by summoning my Winged Kuriboh card!

Tuma: Wrong kind of duel!

Mata Nui: Alright. If you're not a coward, are you willing to let me choose our type of battle?

Tuma: Um....sure.

Mata Nui: Then I choose....a Dance-off! Whoever scores the highest on this dancing video game wins!

Me: The plague of dance is coming...

Mata Nui: You can start.

Tuma: *dancez hard on the arcade-style dancing game* Oh yeah, I am good! *slips up and falls on his back* Aaagh!!

Machine: Your final score is...7023.

Tuma: I *grunt* have this one in the bag. Heheh.

Mata Nui: *starts dancing*

Tuma: Oh my...he's good....he keeps getting excellents...Oh My Goodness....hez over 9000!!!

---

I'll let you all ponder what happens next. ;D

Chapter 7: The Cave

Director: These chapters are getting lamer and lamer names.

Zesk: W..ll, ...m...t...b...sy...t...c..m. ..p...w...th...g...d...n...m. .s. *typetypetype*

Meanwhile in the Kingdom Ultimate Dimension

Previous Director: I can't believe this has all happened...Taco has taken over a dimension, and I'm the only one who can stop him. I was lucky to escape those webs unmutated...I guess I am a hideous freak. -_-

Various Vahki designed by Taco: Surrender, or we will be forced to use our Staffs of Incineration to...

Previous Director: To what?

Vahki: ...Incinerate you. The title is sort of obvious. I mean, what did you think they did, make you cookies?!

Another Vahki: Vahki V089 to Emporer Tacotine-we have isolated the rebel. Awaiting your arrival and orders.

Emporer Tacotine: Preparing to arrive. I will personally destroy the Previous Director. Keep him busy until I arrive.

Back to the Secret Lab of the Great Beings

Gresh: Um, well, you are debating over whether to save my life. So you actually DO care that I'm dy-*Gresh dies*

Kiina: NOO!

Director: Don't worry, I planned ahead for this. I was sure at least a few actors would die in this movie. So, I cloned all of you about an hour ago. We have a perfect clone of Gresh right here, injured and everything. *Gresh's clone lays down on the table*

Gresh (clone, to be referred to henceforth simply as Gresh): Still dying here.

Berix: C'mon, I can help him?

Ackar: ...very well.

Kiina: What if he's the traitor?

Ackar: Then he'll pay. There's a $250,000 fine for betraying any village.

Kiina: O_____O That's more money than all of the money on Bara Magna.

Ackar: I know. Stupid inflation...

Mata Nui stares at a huge door....thing in front of him.

Mata Nui: What lies beyond here?

Kiina: Dunno. I doubt anything "lies" beyond there, though. I mean, why would there be anything beyond there that lies? There's nothing alive in there, most likely. So there's no way something in there could be dishonest.

Mata Nui: ::)

Kiina: Anyway...I've never been able to get it open.

Berix: Neither have I.

Kiina: Just focus on what you're doing, theif.

Berix: Collector. And if I was even focusing to start with, I wouldn't be on Gresh's 18th clone by now.

Director: The 18th and FINAL. So don't mess this up.

Berix: *fiddles with some sort of vine*

Gresh: Can I have my windpipe back now?? *gaaaasp*

Mata Nui: *Walks up to wall*

Suddenly, The Mask of Life and and Wall start glowing. Everyone raises their weapon, except for Gresh and Berix, who for some reason have no weapons.

Mata Nui: It opened....

Ackar: You really need to see a doctor for that schizophrenia of yours. <_<

Click: Duuude, I've told him that like a million times.

Mata Nui, Click, Ackar and Kiina walk in.

Mata Nui: Hm...this writing supports my theory...the Great Beings are indeed illiterate, or at least were at some point.

Kiina: Great Beings? Great Destroyers is more like it.

Mata Nui: Why do you speak against the Great Beings with a line that was supposed to be used in the last chapter?

Kiina: Because this *points at the chamber* was Bara Magna before the Great Beings came along and ruined us.

Me: What? I forget lines sometimes. I don't have the DVD, so it's not like I can watch it wheneva I want. But I didn't want those lines to go to waste. =P

Ackar: You do not know that Kiina. The Great Beings could have just as easily fallen here.

Mata Nui: No, that did not happen. They probably sat down here. *gasp* It cannot be.

Ackar: What't wrong? You look like you've just seen a a ghost, whatever that is.

Mata Nui: Technically, there are Nyrah Ghosts, but, um...oh forget it. Not far from it. *points at drawing of a giant robot on the wall*

Ackar and Kiina: *gasp*

Mata Nui: A robot, much like the one I used to use to rule over my ppl...

Click: Um, actually, I'm pretty sure that IS the robot you used to be. Get your facts straight.

For someunknowm reason, they leave the room without doing anything else.

Outside, two Bone Hunters are standing around.

Fero: Why am I partnered? It said very clearly in Raid on Vulcanus I hate sharing. I'd prefer to just loot everything I see.

Other Bone Hunter: I'm just here to be an extra. Although I thought we all got killed by that psycho guy in a Taco costume and that huge Scorpion thing.

Ackar: *bangs their heads together, knocking them unconcious*

Mata Nui: ...Aren't those helmets supposed to prevent that from happening??

Ackar: Who caaares?

Kiina: You OK Gresh? sweetie? <3

Gresh: Yup, thanks to Berix and Dr. Dollitle. And, on an unrelated note, I really should get petition for Tajun to improve their helathcare. I mean, what kind of idiot sets up the city to only have ONE hospital, and a guy who's good at fixing things?

Metus: Wait, I thought the Director said the awful truth that I was the traitor to all of the villages was going to be revealed in this chapter. What happened to me coming out of nowhere and saying that?

Director: >__<

No comments? Nothing? Ah well.

Chapter 8: Ride to Tesera

Director: You know, being a Director is kind of lame. It was funnier when the old Director was in charge...for some reason...*leaves* Zesk, you're in charge of the movie until I return.

Zesk: *typetypetype*

Mata Nui: So, how are you doing Gresh?

Gresh: Fine, thanks to Berix and duct tape.

Berix: But mostly duct tape. *pokes some of the tape on Gresh* The wound under there should heal in 4-6 years.

Gresh: Don't you mean 4-6 months?

Berix-nah. Time goes slowly on Bara Magna. How else could Ackar be so old?

Ackar: *disintegrates*

Turaga Dume: *uses Mask of Regeneration*

Ackar: Thanks. But aren't you supposed to be in the Coliseum?

Dume: *throwes smoke pellet onto the ground in front of him* *when the smoke clears, he is gone*

Mata Nui: Thank you all for your help. But it is time we parted ways.

Master Shifu: No, Master Oogway! Don't go!

Mata Nui: O_o

Gresh: You're leaving us?

Kiina: Yeah, you're leaving us? *stares at Gresh dreamily*

Gresh: Wait, aren't you supposed to be in love with the fire character?

Kiina: Nah, that's ridiculous. Why would I like a guy who shoots fire from his hands?

Gali and Nokama: D=

Gresh: But why are you leaving?

Mata Nui: Because Kiina is love-crazy, you're a wimpy fighter, Ackar is an old fart and I'm not even taking a chance on Berix.

Berix: I can fix that robot you'll be using in '10.

Deep-voiced guy: ...Featuring The Mata Nuis and their giant robot. This Madden is the Madden. Madden '10. E. A. Sports. 'ts in the game.

Mata Nui: I'm sorry. But Click and I must continue our quest.

Click: Duuuude, I'm just coming along because you killed my sister.

Mata Nui: No, Click. I AM your sister!

Click: Nooooooooo!

Zesk: C....n...w....c...t....d..wn. ..n...th...p..p...c..lt...r.. .r...f..r..nc..s...pl...s..?

Click: *grunt* Fine. Wait, how did you understand me, Mata Nui?

Mata Nui: Click, I've spent like what, 7 chapters with you? I'm starting to understand your language by now. Even though your language consists of making the same noise over and over and over again.

Kiina: Great. A ditcher AND a Beetle whisperer. And he's my only hope for getting out of here.

Click: SPECIESIST AND RACIST! SPECIESIST AND RACIST!!

Kiina: Not to mention he has that psychotic beetle.

Ackar: Guys, can we focus on the story here? We're eating up time and we haven't even gotten to the part of the story that involves the title of the chapter.

Kiina: Fine.

Ackar: Mata Nui, I've seen you fight. You're not ready.

Mata Nui: Actually, you were unconcious when I dealt with Strakk, and you were miles away when I fought a giant Scorpion and a mutated Taco Deliveryman. So no, you haven't seen me fight.

Ackar: >_< Look...stay with me and I'll teach you everything I know.

Mata Nui: I've watched Toa Helryx, Hydraxxon, Axxon, Brutaka, The Toa Mata, The Toa Metru, the list goes on. I've learned more than you will ever show me. And besides, what if you charge me for the lessons?

Gresh: Yeah, you're a pretty selfish guy Ackar. You have all those shields, but you haven't donated any of them to charity.

Ackar: I'm doing this for Mata Nui. No one else.

Onewa: Heeeey...where have I heard that line before?

Mata Nui: Fine, I'll stay with you. But what do you want out of this?

Kiina: A new world.

Berix: Respect.

Ackar: To help a friend.

Gresh: A new weapon. My old one is shredded.

Click: You mean that cool, good-condition weapon you're using right there? You know, in Comics 1, 2 and 3, you had the green twin swords you'll be getting later in the chapter. What happened to those? And really? SHREDDED? *calls the grammar police*

Mata Nui: What am I supposed to do? Do I LOOK like I'm made of money?

Click: No, you look like you're made of some cheap yellowish material that lego transforms into gold when rendering you in CGI.

Ackar: Wait...your mask! Couldn't you do to our weapons what you did to Click and the stinger tail?

Mata Nui: Make them fat, ugly and immoblile?

Ackar: No, make them awesome weapons!

Click: Technically, only the tail was a weapon.

Mata Nui: No. I don't understand the workings of the mask-

Berix: Use Biosector01. It's very helpful.

Mata Nui: But I think it only works on things that are...or were alive.

Berix: No problem. Most Glatorian weapons are made of Bone or Claw.

Mata Nui: Where did you guys get cloth out here?

Berix: I said "claw".

Mata Nui: Ah. It sounded like cloth.

Kiina: That a little collector fact, Thief?

Berix: No, it's a Biosector01 fact. =)

Mata Nui: Alright...Ackar, give me your sword.

Ackar: *hands Mata Nui his sword*

Mata Nui: *touches it up against his mask*

Ackar: *gasp* He has the Midas touch! No wonder he's made of gold!

*takes weapon* *points into air* *huge ray of fire shoots into the air*

Click: Is that a jet engine or a sword? O_o

After a lot of arguing, pop culture referencesand cameo appearences, the gang gets started on their ride to Tesera.

Gresh: Oh come on, I've got these EPIC Elemental powers, but you guys won't let me test 'em out.

Ackar: Patience is the first step to becoming a great Glatorian.

Gresh: I thought steroids were.

Ackar: That's the key to becoming a 21st Century Glatorian. We're in like our 100th Century or something.

Kiina: *blasts a giant rock which explodes into a bunch of other rocks*

Manny: Kiina thwoed water at big wock.

The rock lands in front of the Thornatus. Kiina hits the...floor and the car comes to a stop.

Ackar: Why don't these things have electric motors, anyway? Suuuure, the MANAS get motors, but when we start making REAL vehicles...

But you should be more careful with them powers y'got there.

Bohrok-Kal: Yes. They might run out inconveniently...>:D

Kiina: This coming from a guy who almost got killed by a surprise attack. =P

Ackar: -_- Anyway...I think this'd be a good time for your first lesson, Mata Nui. Now tell me, what direction will that bird in the sky next turn to?

Berix: Wait, since when do we have birds? O_o

Mata Nui: Don't know don't care.

Ackar: Correct! *fires Thornax at the bird* *the bird plummets to the ground* You avoided a pointless lesson. Here is your reward. *kicks bird over to him*

After some...Turkey Sandwiches, Ackar and Kiina face off with the powers of Fire and Water.

Gresh: *fires blast of wind which somehow blows away the elemental powers but leaves Kiina and Ackar untouched* I guess I blow you all away! Get it? Blow?

Click and Berix: Laaaaame.

Gresh: >_>

The five arrive in Tesera without incident. Bye Bye Babylon or some other song plays.

Mata Nui: Where is this music coming from?

Click and Gresh: Who cares? I love this song!

Kiina: Me too!

Gresh: Oh wait, never mind. I hate this song.

Kiina: Me too. <3

---

EDIT: Rest of Chapter is up!

Heh. Awesome chapter Ddude. I especially liked the random Madden reference. =p

Yep. But wait, there's more!

*is adding the rest of the chapter*

Wow, so much references! :o :P But the 4-6 months could of been 6-9 months like on Madagascar 2. ;) Oooh... And I think you should use my idea about links now, you already have 8 1/2 chapters! :P

I may merge all of the Chapters together at some point. =P

And the whole Chapter 8 is now up.

Anyway here it is so far. :P

Chapter 2: Arrival (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg196486.html#msg196486)
Chapter 3: Battle in Vulcanus (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg196977.html#msg196977)
Chapter 4: A Plan (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg197333.html#msg197333)
Chapter 5: Desert Battle (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg197582.html#msg197582)
Chapter 5^1/2: The Epic Chapter (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg197963.html#msg197963)
Chapter 6: Arrival in Tajun (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg201239.html#msg201239)
Chapter 7: The Cave (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg201319.html#msg201319)
Chapter 8: Ride to Tesera (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg202786.html#msg202786)

Ok, I guess I'll do that. =P

So, what'd you think of the extended Chapter 8?

XD I like that Kiina agrees with anything Gresh says. Why exactly is she secretly loving him, though? he should really tell Gresh, and the expression Gresh would probably be like:  0_o     
XD (you could do that in the last chapter)

Also, the Taco parts were kind of random, same with the Alternate dimension things. Maybe make them have more plot relevance?

She isn't doing it secretly. He's just sort of oblivious to it. =P

Oh, they will have a lot of plot relevence. Tuma Battle will pull the whole plot together.

xD

'Gresh: I love this song!
Kiina: Me too.
Gresh: Wait, oh, it's this song. I hate it.
Kiina: ... Me too.'

=P

Chapter 9: The End of the System

Zesk: D...s...th...s...m...n...th.. .nd...f...th...syst..m...wh.. .r...'m...n...ch...rg...?

Click: No, I'm pretty sure it means the end of the system where Glatorian are thrown into a steel cage trap and forced to fight to the death over some worthless piece of-

Mata Nui: I believe that's how the Skrall think the Glatorian System works. =P

Meanwhile in the Kingdom Ultimate Alternate Dimension...

Director (Carl): *grunt* C'mon Director!  We need to get out of here!

Director: (previous): I don't think I can take much more of this...Taco is brutal. We barely managed to take out his Vahki, let alone Taco himself.

Carl: NO MAN GETS LEFT BEHIND!

Director: *gets hit by a blast of Hot Sauce* YOWWWWWWWWWWCH!!! *falls unconcious*

Carl: Nooo! Director!! *picks up the Director* We've got to-urgn-get out of here.

Taco: Not if I have anything to say about it! You won't be able to flee before I make you drop all of your coins!!

Carl: *uses Kanohi Olmak to head to Toa Empire Universe*

Carl: *shoves a 1-Up Mushroom down the Director's mouth*

Taco: They can run, but they cannot hide. Vahki, Nyrah Ghosts, PREPARE THE INTERDIMENSIONAL SHIP!!! Taco and his top soldiers get in a giant, machine with a drill at the end of it* So happy to have hijacked this from the Monty Moles in Bowser's Inside Story. Heheheh. >=D

They power up the ship, setting a course to the dimension Taco remembers so well...the one he was cruelly exiled from. "Yes, it's clear to me. I MUST HAVE MY REVENGE. MY REVENGE...ON MATA NUI"

Back on Bara Magna, the gang has arrived in Tesera.

Gresh: Ah, it's good to be home.

Mata Nui: And it was also good that you sounded like Falco from SSBB in that line.

Gresh: I know. It's weird.

Click: Now he's Homer Simpson...HE HAS MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES!! =OOOOOO

Berix: *nervous*

Kiina: Why so jumpy thief? Rip someone off around here recently?

Berix: Well technically, I only ripped off part of them. >:D

Kiina, Mata Nui and Ackar: O_O

Click: Note to self...sometimes danger comes in small packages.

Berix: *notices a blade* Ooooh, shiny! MUSTHAVEMUSTHAVEMUUUUUSTHAAAA VE. *grabs*

Kiina: Hey! Put that back!

Berix: You know, if it was of any value to anyone, they wouldn't leave it lying in the street unguarded.

Kiina: ...meh. I still don't-

Gresh: Oh, nice blade. Where'd you get it? That thing's awesome.

Kiina:...I guess it couldn't hurt if you hung on to it. (very loudly) You can have that Berix. I won't be a killjoy.

Gresh: That's cool, Kiina. =)

Kiina: Yeah I know. Just like you. <3

The gang enters the arena

Ackar: We have to stop this now.

Kiina: It's too late. There's nothing you can do noooow...they're finished. >:D

Everyone else: O_o

Announcer: And now we begin...VASTUS VERSUS TAAAAAAARIIIIIIX!

Click: How long has there been an announcer?

Mata Nui: IDK.

A giant metal cage falls on the two of them, and-

Click: I WAS RIGHT! Wooo!

Ackar: STOOOOOP!

Everyone else: *stares at Ackar* ...

Ackar: The Bone Hunters and Skrall have teamed up to-

Various Agori: What?? We can't hear you!!

Ackar: Sorry! It's this danged microphone...I should have replaced it 5000 years ago. Literally.

*fiddles with it*

The Bone Hunters and Skrall have teamed up!!

Raanu: That's ridiculous! The Bone Hunters and Skrall are each other's worst enemies.

Ackar: They destroyed Tajun!

Kiina: It's true, Tarix! They obliterated our village.

Tarix: *pipe falls out of his mouth* Ack! Can't *gasp* breath! *falls to the ground unconcious*

Berix: *runs up to him* *rubs the electric thingys together* CLEAAAAR! *zaps Tarix* *puts tube back in his mouth, and the pipe instantly starts pumping water back into Tarix's mouth*

Tarix: *breaths* Ah, water. Thanks, Berix.

Berix: NP. I'm happy to have two Glatorian who owe me their lives. Heheheh. >=D And I always wondered what that pipe was for.

Metus: Alright people, calm down, calm down. No need to panic.

Rex: We should panic?

Ackar: YES!

Metus: NO!

Mata Nui: MAYBE! Can we focus, people?!

Gresh: Focus on what?

Mata Nui: *facepalm*

Raanu and Metus: Why should we believe you?

Tarix: Because I just passed almost died hearing the news. It would be sort of embarrassing if it turned out nothing was wrong.

Kiina: Yes, it's true, Tarix. Even Gresh's massive hunkiness wasn't enough to stop-

Ackar: WILL YOU STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM ALREADY!!

Gresh: She's been flirting with me?

Everyone except Gresh: *facepalm*

Kiina: Yes, Gresh, I love you. I thought I made that clear.

Click: Actually, the Writer has just been trying to communicate through Kiina that he's a Kiina/Gresh shipper.

Me: Yes, yes I am. And if you don't get back on the story, I will force you all to experience the Curse of the Bus.

Tarix: What's that?

Me: Glad you asked. >=D The curse of the Bus is something a friend and I created IRL. It is where a Bionicle Character (the way we did it, your set form was the victim) is cursed to be hit by 1000 (imaginary) buses every day for the REST OF YOUR LIIIIIIFE. >=D

Tarix: That's ridi-*gets run over by a bus* Just a coinc-*another bus* I'm sure it's just a new reroute. If I just get out of the road, I'll be fine. *steps to the right* See, no buses here. *a bus falls out of the sky and crushes him*

Me: And now we shall get back to the story.

Ackar: You guys want proof? How about this? Mata Nui has the power to stop them.

Raanu: Actually, that's just another lie.

Ackar: O RLY?? *shoots a giant ray of fire into the air*

Everyone: =O

Ackar: He can lead us to victory over the Skrall. *points in Mata Nui's direction*

Click: Yes, I can lead you all to victory!!

Mata Nui: He was pointing at me. He just didn't look at me and his finger ended up pointing at you. And before the Writer is forced to explain this when someone asks in a post-chapter comment, I can now speak Scarabax.

Click: ...We really shouldn't keep talking about the Writer. I don't want the Fourth Wall to come back to bite us.

Mata Nui: Throw me your weapon, Tarix!

Tarix: *looks at Vastus*

Vastus: *gestures toward Mata Nui* Go on.

Tarix: *throwes his swords up to Mata Nui...even though he was seen with the powered-up swords in Glatorian Comics 1 and 2, and in his set form...*

Tarix: Wh-what are you going to do with them?

Mata Nui: Burn them, stomp their ashes into the ground, dig up the ground and throw it in a car compactor. Geez, why do you sound so afraid? I'm going to power them up, duh. *presses them against his mask*

Instantly, the swords power up into awesome Water Swords.

Mata Nui: *throws them down to Tarix*

Ackar: What more proof do you need?

Metus: Maybe that mask trasforming me into some hideous creature? Nah, that'll never happen.

Chapter 9: The End of the System (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg205321.html#msg205321)

^ There's your coding. :P

Better than Chapter 8. :D I liked the ripped off part and the breathing tube. And Gresh finally knows. :P But Tarix seems a little too dumb.

EDIT: You forgot the at the end. Fixing...

EDIT: well you didn't have to edit this anyway. :P

Thanks. =P

Yep. And Kiina and Gresh will be getting more...involved soon. =P

No problem.

Uh oh. :P

EDIT: Long enough now? Ooh, it is because I am typing this long edit. ;D

A little bit longer of a response please...I'm doing this for fun, but I am the mod of this board. ;) Could you edit your post a bit?

Heheh...and from this point on, Kiina and Gresh will be doing what I think they should be doing if they were in love. >=D

Chapter 10: Kidnapped

Click: Great. I wonder what will happen in this chapter. It has me completely stumped. ::)

The Agori are preparing to pull all of the cities togeth-

Patrick Star: PUUUUUSH!!! PUUUUUSH!!

Ahem-pull the cities together. Kiina sees Berix sneaking away to something, and pursues.

Kiina: It's dark out here..and scary...like a graveyard.

Darkness falls across the land.
The midnight hour is close at hand.
Creatures crawl in search of blood.
To terrorize your neighbourhood.

Kiina: O_O That was weird. Where's that voice coming from anyway?

Berix continues running, thinking he's alone.

Berix: Hehheheh...those suckers will never find me out here.

Kiina: Yep, they're all real suckers.

Berix: O__O You followed me out here...heheh...I was..erm...

Kiina: What? Following your Skrall friends?

Berix: No I wasn't...err...I've never even heard of that Branar guy before...

Kiina: I never said anything about Branar.

Berix: Oh, well, um, I  was (thinking) Think Berix, THINK! Why were you out here? Just come up with a reason that doesn't involve burying people. That would be a dead giveaway. Heh. Dead. =P (speaking) I was...following the real traitor.

Kiina: Oh really? Then who is it?

Metus: Me.

Kiina: YOU?!

Berix: Wow, that was a lucky coincidence. Yep, he's the traitor.

Kiina: Get him!

Metus: Actually, it is I who will be getting you.

Kiina: O_o

Metus: Skrall, Bone Hunters, take the love-crazy girl and the thief away!

Micheal Jackson: You hear the door...SLAM, and realize there's nowhere left to run.

Kiina and Berix are...well, you know. What did you think was going to happen? Didja think they were going to get Ice Cream? I don't get why I narrate this story anyway, considering the reader can just infer what happens next.

The next morning...

Mata Nui: I've tricked all of the Agori and Glatorian into helping me...but I think Berix and Kiina are dangerous. Gresh is too oblivious to figure anything out, and Ackar trusts me too much. I need to get rid of Kiina and Berix. Soon.

Metus and Raanu  come running up to Mata Nui.

Metus: Mata Nui, oh Mata Nui, it's terrible! I had the-Err, I mean the Bone Hunters and Skrall kidnapped Berix and Kiina!
 
Mata Nui: Well, that was convenient.

Everyone else: O_o

Mata Nui: I mean...oh no! This is all my fault! And-wait, how did you know that the Bone Hunters and Skrall did it?

Metus: I dragged-I mean, I saw them dragging Berix and Kiina away this morning.

Gresh: *is reading a book*  *shudders* I feel...a disturbence. Somthing is wrong. KIINA!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?

Ackar: Come on, let's go rescue them.

Mata Nui: No, I can't let you do that...I mean, no, I will go alone. This is my fault.

Metus: It is? DOGPILE ON MATA NUI!!

Mata Nui: That's not what I meant, traitor.

Metus: *gasp* Are you accusing me of something??  *is holding a Skrall Shield behind his back*

Mata Nui: Yes. *walks away*

Mata Nui is up on a large rock formation, watching the Agori pull the villages together. He notices a distinct outline...

Mata Nui: =O I've seen that before...

Ackar: *appears out of nowhere* So, you want to go alone?

Mata Nui: Well duh. =P

Ackar: ::) I wish you luck on your journey...but make sure to bring that traitor Metus back to the village, I wanna punch him a few times.

Metus: I think my cover has been blown.

Tuma: Yep. *is loosening up for the dance-off in the next chapter*

Click: I, however, will travel with Mata Nui. I like travelling. And a certain Skrall owes me $50 for that information I gave him.

Stronius: *whistles innocently*

Mata Nui and Click continue walking to Roxtus...how they plan to get in without being noticed or collapsing from the heat, nobody knows.

Mata Nui: Are you ready Click?

Click: Yes.

Mata Nui: Good. Now we must reclaim the Triforce of Power!

Click: O_o When did we enter the world of Zelda?

Mata Nui: My talking shield should defend me from all threats. *turns Click into a shield*

Click: Well, at least I won't be stepped on...or have to walk. Wait a minute, Zelda, shields...doesn't that mean that-

Like-like: *stomach growls*

Click: O_O I'M GOING TO DIE!!

---

Sorry about the shortness of the Chapter. Trying to build up to Mata Nui vs. Tuma, and I don't remember this part of the movie very well.

That made me laugh a lot, and that part at the end was unexpected and funny. =P

I just added a little bit extra to the ending, because I saw a great oppurtunity to expand on the Zelda reference. =P

xD Extended ending is even funnier. =P But Like-Likes probably couldn't eat Click anyway. ::)

Yes, but they could eat the Scarabax Shield. =P

Unique shields like the Mirror Shield can't be eaten though. =P

I would probably call  the Scarabax Shield something a little more colorful than "unique" xP

BTW, Tuma Battle won't be up until next week. I am doing a special Christmas Spoof in this topic...featuring Stronius, Gresh and Kiina. And a few ghosts. =D It'll be up on Saturday, along with a few Christmas song spoofs. =P

Chapter 10: Kidnapped (http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5249.msg206143.html#msg206143)

Looky, I remebered the tag. ;D

Oooh, Patrick! Wait, Metus is the traitor?! :o :P And I'm not into the LoZ so what's a Like-like?

A like-like is a verry annoying LoZ enemy that eats your shield. =P

I hope everyone enjoys my Bionicle Christmas Special...it'll be big. Very big. And very funny. =D

3 ghosts?

Is there going to be a Christmas Carol reference...?

Who's going to be Scrooge? Stronius?

XD

O______O

HOW DID YOU KNOW!?!

Yes, it's a Bionicle Christmas Carol. How you guessed that Stronius was Scrooge (besides the fact that it stars him) is beyond me.

It's kinda obvious, since Gresh nor Kiina is grumpy. :P Can't wait! =D

Oh... that's also the name of a street here. :P Like like.

Street...? You mean IRL, or around the forum?

Yep, it'll be awesome. It will be divided into 6 parts, each one coming a few hours after the last. With the two songs squeezed in between. =P

IRL, but I don't live anywhere near it. :P

=D I hope the songs will be good. :P

Like-likes aren't annoying with a Biggoron's Sword unless you're in the shadow section of the Ganon's Tower. They go down in one hit. =P

for some reason, Like-Likes always scare me...
anyway, great chapter!

Ok guys, looks I'm booked Saturday, IRL...

which means a Bionicle Christmas Carol will be getting out up in bits and pieces until New Year's!

Yeah, Like-likes are a bit...creepy.

especially the sounds they make when they try to eat you...
*shudders*

It's time for...A Bionicle Christmas Carol. Part 1.

Tuma was dead. If Stronius knew one thing, he knew that Tuma was dead. He was Tuma's sole mourner, sole...well, he was really the only person who cared about Tuma. After the events of 30,000 years ago, when the fight between Mata Nui and Teridex ended in a tie, it was pretty much every man for himself. Stronius, the one person who used to follow Tuma loyally, stuck with him after the Cactalysm.

He and Tuma had stuck together to survive. With the citizens of the Matoran Universe needing a new home, and the harsh wasteland of Bara Magna being their only new home, the world was left overpopulated and underesourced. Stronius had taken in Tuma, and with the mineral mine Tuma knew about, they struck it rich while others suffered.

Gresh sat at his tiny desk, scribbling things that were too trivial for his boss to handle. Stronius' nephew, Branar, knocks at the door.

Branar: Uncle, it's me! Can you let me in?

Stronius: May I see some identification please?

Branar: ...how can you see it if you can't see me?

Stronius: Not my problem.

Branar: I just wanted to invite you to my Christmas party...

Stronius: Christmas? Christmas is a waste of resources in a world without enough resources to feed 10 Glatorian.

Branar: Oh come on uncle, why not? I picked out a wonderful, giant Sand Bat big enough for the whole family!

Stronius: Gresh, could you please execute order 66?

Gresh: *sigh* *opens door* Sorry Branar...I honestly don't know how one could loathe Christmas as much as your Uncle.

Stronius hits a button on his desk, and the top flips over, revealing a turret loaded with several dozen Thornaxes. Stronius grabs the controls and starts firing.

Gresh: MY BACK!! *falls over writhing in pain*

Stronius: ...oh, right, you were still standing in the doorway. Heh. *fires at Branar*

Branar: *runs away*

Gresh works at his desk, looking tense. He finally works up the courage to ask his boss what's been eating at him for hours.

Gresh: Mr. Stronius, I was wonder if I could have-

Stronius: NO.

Gresh: ...Don't you want to know what I want?

Stronius: NO.

Gresh: I just wanted to have Christmas off...with pay...

Stronius: Bwahahahahaha!!! Bwahahahahaha!!! ;D Oooh, that's hilarious. You wanting ME to give you a day off. And without pay. Bwhahahahahahahahahaaa!!!

Gresh: ...how about without pay?

Stronius: So you want to start working for free?

Gresh: No, but-

Stronius: One more work out of you and you won't have anything to be merry about this Christmas.

Gresh: .........*keeps scribbling*

Two Agori come to the door. One is carrying a sign that say "Toa Underfed and Undercaredfor. The other is wearing a top hat.

Agori #1: Sir, I'm sorry to burden you on Christmas Eve, but-

Stronius: Then don't.

Agori #1: ...If I could just ask for a tiny donation...the Toa have been in such rough shape since the War-

Stronius: I NEVER WANT TO HEAR OF THAT HORRIBLE WAR AGAIN. *lumbers up to the Two Agori* Humbug. *sends them both flying with his cane/club*

The clock strikes 6.

Gresh: Well, I'll be off to my home now.

Stronius: You're not to be ONE MINUTE late tommorow. 5 A.M. sharp.

Gresh (sadly): Yes sir. *leaves*

Stronius: The nerve of some people...begging for stuff for nothing in return. This world is barely pulling through and people want to start wasting what little they have because it's "tradition". What ever happened to-you know what, I'm just going to go sit in the corner of my room and mumble to myself about how terrible things have gotten.

Stronius walks-you know, "lumbers" is kind of a more accurate word. Stronius lumbers home to his large home where Roxtus used to be.

Stronius: *notices the Knocker is in the shape of Tuma's head* Goodness! It looks just like Tuma!! ...Oh wait, it's always been like that. This used to be Tuma's house. Now, if only my keys would fit...curse my lack of apposable thumbs. >_<

After eventually just knocking the door down out of frustration, he takes of his coat.

Stronius: GOOD GRIEF I'M NAKED!! O_O

Me: Yeah...Bionicles don't wear clothes. Although for some reason Turaga Dume wore that robe...ah well.

Stronius goes up the stairs to his room and turns off all the lights. He grabs a chair and sits in the corner.

Stronius: Grumble...tight....grumble... .ridiculous...grumble...

He hears a clattering coming from his door.

Stronius: Anyone? Burgalars? People worried about the sound of my door crashing down?

Several heavy boxes are thrown into the room, with chains attached to them. Finally, after this over-dramatized scene, Tuma...lumbers in.

Stronius: Tu-tu-tu-tuma?!

Tuma: No, I'm Taylor Swift. OF COURSE I'M TUMA!!

Stronius: Wh-what are you wearing.

Tuma: Nothing. O_O

Stronius: Now, those chains.

Tuma: These chains are made of the bones of all the enemies I destroyed. These large...square thingies are are made of iron. The balls attached to my chains are forged out of the skulls of the enemies I crushed.

Stronius: R-r-r-r-rea-l-l-l-ly!?

Tuma: Nah, I just thought it would sound cool. ;D

Tuma: ::)

No comments?

Well, time to put up...

the chapter you've been waiting for...

Chapter 11: Tuma Battle
In The Toa Empire Universe...

Carl: Sir, since we're surronded by evil Toa...and they have our Kanohi, there's something I need to tell you.

Director: What is it?

Carl: I use my copy of your script to unclog my toilet.

Director: ...Just for that, my full rage has been unleashed. I am not going to die. Your llife, however, may be in question when this whole mess is over.

Carl: Meep.

Director: Hey, Kopaka? You want a drink? How about a little Falcon PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!! *punchs Kopaka into oblivion*

Carl: Good work sir! *grabs Kanohi Olmak* Let's go back to our world!

Taco: Fools! You cannot escape!! *jumps off the drill and lunges for them, but is just short*

Carl: So long, Taco!!

Taco: Aaaaaaaah!!!! *Gets sucked into the drill*

Vahki: *take Taco's remains* Must....pull....Ridley...on.. .Taco. Must...Repair...Master.

Mata Nui arrives in Roxtus. Various Skrall and Vorox stare at him.

Vorox: He looks delicious...that's the best...golden brown chicken wing I've ever seen...

Mata Nui: Wait, I thought Chapter 11 was a part of bankruptcy.

Zesk: ::) Stick to the script, please.

Kiina: This is all your fault.

Berix: Not really.

Kiina: That cave was my private place...the one place I could get away from it all.

Berix: Hey, if either of us needs to get away from the world, it's me.

Kiina: It's my cave.

Berix: Sharing is caring. ;D

Kiina: I don't care about you.

Berix: OUCH.

Kiina: Alright fine, we can "share" the cave.

Berix: Look, it's Mata Nui!!

Kiina: Is he-

Berix: Yup, alone.

Kiina: He's dead. D-E-A-D. Dead.

Tuma: Well, well, the coward has come for a battle.

Mata Nui: Are you willing to fight me alone? Or are you the true coward?

Tuma: NO ONE CALLS TUMA A COWARD! I WILL FIGHT YOU ALONE!

Mata Nui: Heheh. Sucker.

Tuma: I'm going to enjoy tearing that fancy mask off your face after I kill you.

Mata Nui: Actually, taking off the mask would kill me again. You're going to kill me twice? Talk about thorough.

Tuma: Are you ready to Duel, Mata Nui?

Mata Nui: Yes. And I'll start by summoning my Winged Kuriboh card!

Tuma: Wrong kind of duel!

Mata Nui: Alright. If you're not a coward, are you willing to let me choose our type of battle?

Tuma: Um....sure.

Mata Nui: Then I choose....a Dance-off! Whoever scores the highest on this dancing video game wins!

Me: The plague of dance is coming...

Mata Nui: You can start.

Tuma: *dancez hard on the arcade-style dancing game* Oh yeah, I am good! *slips up and falls on his back* Aaagh!!

Machine: Your final score is...7023.

Tuma: I *grunt* have this one in the bag. Heheh.

Mata Nui: *starts dancing*

Tuma: Oh my...he's good....he keeps getting excellents...Oh My Goodness....hez over 9000!!!

Mata Nui: I win.

Tuma: Erm..I want a rematch!!

Mata Nui: Wii Sports Resort Swordplay?

Tuma: How about real-life Sword Fighting?

Mata Nui: O_o Dude, that's dangerous.

Tuma: You have a point there.

One Minute Later...

Tuma: Alright, so you beat me in SwordPlay, too. That doesn't prove anything.

Mata Nui: O RLY???

Tuma: Yes RLY.

Mata Nui: Oh. Ok then. How about we fight for real?

Tuma: I thought you said that was dangerous?

Mata Nui: If I can beat you in a game, I can beat you now.

Kiina: No he can't.

Tuma: Alright. LET'S GO!!! *knocks him over*

Mata Nui: Heeeeey. *gets up*

Tuma: *knocks over*

Mata Nui: HEEEEEEEEEY. *gets up*

Tuma: *knocks over*

Mata Nui: HEEEEEEEEEY!!!! *gets up*

Berix: He's getting destroyed. I can't watch. *covers eye-things*

Tuma: Did this weakling, think he could conquer Tuma in any non-video game-related way??

Mata Nui: *notices the spot on Tuma's back that got hurt when he fall back* *stabs*

Tuma: OOOUCH!!! *falls over*

Mata Nui: That was easy. *pokes Tuma* You oka-

Tuma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! WRAPPED IN PAIN!!!!! *dies*

Mata Nui: I thought this was a kid's movie. O_o

Metus: *claps mockingly* Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, we-

Mata Nui: Well, what??

Metus: ...

Kiina: It was you!!

Metus: Yep. It was a move of genius-

Berix: Actually, it was a move of fear. Just check Biosector01.

Metus: ...ugh. Fine. I'm the traitor. Whoop-dy-do. I'm in charge of the Skrall now, etc, etc. Skrall, get him.

Suddenly, on the horizon, there's a giant purple Malum it swings its claws but doesn't actually hit anything.

Various Skrall: RUN FROM THE THING WITH THE BAD AIM!!!!

Metus: No, don't run!! Attack!!

Stronius: Dude, we don't answer to you. According to EotS, I'm actually supposed to kill you if Tuma dies.

Metus: O__O *runs to his Thornatus V9, which he somehow got back*

Mata Nui: *chases him*

Metus: You two! Stop him.

Stronius Clones: Wait, weren't we supposed to kill you? O_o

Metus: Too late. *floors it*

Mata Nui: *pwns the clones*

Metus: Haw haw haw. He'll never catch meh now. Waaaaaht!?

Two Vorox jump into the road.

Metus: Out of my way!! It's not going to look good on my driving record if I run over two Vorox.

Vorox: Yes, we find your "If the beasts die, so be it" Comment that wasn't' in this script, but in the actual movie. *flip over the Thornatus*

Mata Nui: *grabs Metus by the neck*

Metus: Wait, no! We can make a deal!! I can give you whatever you want!

Mata Nui: I have what I want. *presses his mask up against Metus* Now, to expose you for what you really are!

Metus: No, please!! Don't turn me into a Deku Scrub!!

Mata Nui: This is the Mask of Life, not Majora's Mask.

Metus: Oh, OK. Knock yourself out, then.

Metus is transformed into a snake.

Tuma: *comes back to life* I knew he was a serpent. *dies again*

Metus: You may have defeated meeeeee....but you'll never defeat my army....even though "my" army is supposed to kill me...*slithers away*

Mata Nui: *returns*

Suddenly, a great Battle Party of Agori and Glatorian come to join the fight.

Mata Nui: Oh sure, wait until after I've defeated Tuma.

Raanu: Heh, heh.

Kiina: But the monster-

Mata Nui: I think we have seen the true power of unity.

The Scarabax Malum falls apart-wait, how did they get the eyes to glow like that??

Ackar and Gresh: *walk over to Mata Nui, Kiina and Berix*

Gresh: Kiina, I was so worried. *Kiina and Gresh make out over in the corner*

Ackar: Young lo-well actually, Kiina's like 100,000 years old.  You've done well, friend. Now, let's handle those Skrall.

Kiina and Gresh finish their buisness.

Kiina: *hands Berix a Saw Blade Shield*

Berix: Really? I can keep it? No one's ever..given me something before. They always chase me with pitchforks and torches and I have to run away screaming.

Kiina: You can keep it. Assuming you make it out alive. >=D

Berix: O_o

---

Yep, there'll be one more Chapter..oh yeah, and Metus' Revenge.

Nice. xD And nice reference to the party. =P

And to quote B~T...

"You play Yu-Gi-Oh?"

I used to play Yu-Gi-Oh. Not anymore.

Yeah, I've developed a love of the Falcon Puuuuuuuuuuuunch lately.

Yay! :P I like the *pwns the clones*

Tuma was really off. :P

Ok, first off, I'd like to apologize for neglecting this topic lately.

Next, I'm sorry to report that I won't be following through on the Bionicle Christmas Carol. I've been busy lately, and it just isn't going to work.

However.

I am working on two new projects, both of them going to be in new topics. One is a another spoof, but this one's a little different-it's a spoof of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. ;D That may not seem like the ideal thing to spoof, but I can assure you that I'm going to make it work. The other is an original project, but it's mostly in the conceptual phase at the moment, so you might not see it for a while. I kind of doubt they'll be coexisting, primarily because A. I want to get a little more experience before doing something totally original and B. I thought of the original project yesterday, so it's probably not going to be ready for a while.

Now...first I need to stop sounding like the spokesperson for a major corporation or something. =P The Final Chapter and a spoof of Metus' Revenge will be up within the next 48 hours, or I don't get a cookie. ;D

It's here.

Chapter 12: The Ending

Zesk (Director): S..r...s..ly?? "Th...nd..ng..?!" Th..s..ch..pt..r...n..m..s... k...p...g...tt..ng...l...m..r .

Meanwhile in some random other dimension...

Old Director: This is where we make our stand, Carl. We've been running for years now.

Carl: Actually, sir, we've only been running for like a week.

Director: I don't know if we're going to make it. I'll defend you with my life, but there's no guarantee we'll make it out.

Carl: Sir, we're just going to leave some dummys of ourselves behind and use the Olmak one more time.

Director: The risks are high...the stakes are higher.

Carl: Sir, is there a gas leak over there or something?

Director: ...way to kill the mood, Carl. I was in my perfect survival mode, but you just HAD to use logic. >___<

Meta Taco: *warps into the Some Random Dimension* I have found you!!! IT ENDS HERE!!

Director: ...shoot. Way to stall us, Carl.

Carl: OH COME ON!!! Wait...why is he called "Meta" Taco now?

Meta Taco: Because I've obtained several cyborg upgrades, such as a bulletproof body, laser vision and laser-firing hands, wings, the ability to project shields and I can now interfere with interdimensional activity such as warping between dimensions.

Director: You got all that in ONE WEEK!?

Meta Taco: Oh, and I can also plug my hands into a cannon that obliterates all matter within a 5-mile radius.

Director: O_O

Meta Taco: But it takes a LOT of electricity, so I always wait until the last second to start it up. And it takes half an hour to fire. Fortunatly though, it can lock onto you and and interferes with all interdimensional activity until the last second. I wouldn't want to destroy something important in another dimension. >_> *plugs in*

Back on Bara Magna

Kiina: ...So Berix, have we cleared up that I said "if" you survive as a joke?

Berix: Mostly. I'm still not sure if there's an actual problem though. Ever since that thought got into my head...

Kiina: Ok, that's it. I'm done playing mommy. Suck it up you-

Gresh: Oh, hey Berix. You OK, dude?

Berix: Pretty much.

Gresh: What were you saying, Kiina? Something about Berix? Berix is pretty great, isn't he? Saved my life and all.

Kiina: Err....yeah. So, how were you Berix?

Berix: Good. I'm better now.

The Skrall and Bone Hunters are attacking brutally.

Various Agori: There's too many of 'em!!

Raanu: RETREAT!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIE!!! ABANDON YOU FRIENDS!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!!

Tarduk: Dude, we were just playing Galaga. Jeez.

Raanu: ...right. I knew that. Heh. Heheh.

Ackar: *block* *swing* This is just like the Showdown Wii Sports Resort Swordplay!! *his sword is knocked away* Heeey...that never happens in a video game. *Stronius Clone knocks him down* That never happens either. *Two Stronius Clones start beating him with their clubs* That never happens either.

Berix: Well, I guess this is it. People keep saying I'm just a toy. Now I will fly! *jumps off cliff* I'm flyi-wait, no. I'M FAAAAAAALLIIIIIING........*lands on a conviniently placed Rock Steed*

Rock Steed: Grrrrrr... (Translation: Hello, good sir. What is your name? Will you be riding me today?)

Berix: Aaaaagh!!! *starts smacking Rock Steed with Saw Blade Shield*

Rock Steed: Raaaaaaaaaargh!! (Translation: Why are you doing that? Please stop. My skin is very sensitive.

Berix: *notices numerous Bone Hunters around him* Uh-oh. Er..hi! How'r you guys doing?

Rock Steed: Roooooarrrr!!  Grraargh!! Oooooorgh!!(Translation: Do not attempt to comminucate with them. They do not speak a common language. And they are quite cruel in their treatment of me. Hey...I think there's a mosquitoe on my tail. Mmm...Mosquitoes. Must...Chase!!! *chases tail, knocking over Bone Hunter in process*

Berix: Aaaagh! Wait...yay! I beat all of the Bone Hunters!

Rock Steed: *swallows mosquitoe whole* Geeeeergraah!!! Greaaartar!! Gloaaarte!! (Translation: Congratulations. Good j-Ow. Ooooow. Itch. On my back. It huuuurts. Could you get that?)

Berix: Woohoo! *accidentally KO's Bone Hunter*

Rock Steed: Graaaaargh!!! (Translation: Since you will not scratch me, I must find another to do so. *bucks Berix off*

Berix: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah *sound of landing in dust*

Kiina: *is using trident to pick Skrall that were dogpiling on Ackar off of him* *shudders* Did someoner I know just fall? Ah well.

Ackar: Thanks. For some reason, that never happens in Wii Sports Resort.

Gresh: There's too many of them! What can we do?

Kiina: Make out?

Gresh: No, let's save that for the ending.

Kiina: *sigh* O-kay.

Mata Nui: Maybe my mask can save us!!

Ackar: You're going to turn us all into shields?

Mata Nui: NO, I can use my mask to power up your elemental powers. Plus, if we combined them, I assume something good will happen?

Ackar: Like healing an Ash Bear?

Mata Nui: NOOO. Like making a giant powerful beam.

Ackar: Oh. Well, let's try it.

Kiina: You actually think this will work?

Ackar: Not really, no.

What they didn't realize is that they were all on the interdimensional border to the Some Random Dimension.

Meta Taco: Okay...locked and loaded...I can finally fire!!  *fires*

Carl: Director!! NOW!!!!

Director: *opens an interedimensional portal to Bara Magna* *grabs Carl* *jumps in*

On Bara Magna.

Mata Nui: It's working! Our beams our combining!

Kiina: YES!!! (This can't actually work...) *an interdimensional portal opens behind them* *Carl and the Director fall out and roll to the side* *the super blast comes through the portal*

Mata Nui: Fire!!! *the blast merges with Meta Taco's blast* *the Skrall and Bone Hunters are incinerated*

Kiina: Wow...that worked! Woohoo! *can we make out now, Gresh?

Gresh: Ok. *they do that off screen*

Ackar: Since it's obvious they're not going to be of any help...*pulls Berix out of a giant pile of junk*

Berix: Thank you...but your Berix is in another pile!

Ackar: Ok, that was a very lame Mario reference, Berix.

Berix: All right...I'm Berix.

Kiina: *Doesn't even notice Berix*

Berix: Um...Kiina, this is the part where you're supposed to be happy that I'm alive...?

Kiina: Not gonna happen, BErix. *Continues making out with Gresh*

Later, the Agori are pulling together their villages...even though their villages are huge...

Ackar: *gets up on to the big rock that Mata Nui's on*

Mata Nui: Do you see that?

Ackar: Yeah...looks like someone murdered a giant robot.

Mata Nui: >_< I was thinking I could maybe, I don't know, USE IT!?

Ackar: ...ooh.

Zesk: A...d...th..t..s...a...wr..p. ..v..ry...n..!

A movie theater is full of people watching the credits. Mata Nui, Berix, Kiina, Click, Ackar, and Gresh are among them.

Random Guy: Boo! Worst movie ever!!

Ackar: *shoots ray of fire at him*

Click: He's right, that movie did suck. A mean really. A Matoran who turns into a Cyborg with a bloodthirsty vegeance for the Director of the movie? Please!

---

Metus' Revenge

Director: Wait, seriously? They should have called it "The Revenge of Metus" instead.

Metus: Hey, you direct your movie the way you want to, I'll direct mine the way I want to.

Director: Yeah, why am I here anyway? I have nothing to do with this short...

Vastus, Kiina, Ackar and Mata Nui spot a ruined Thornatus in the ground.

Mata Nui: I will use the Force to lift it. *Concentrates...very...hard...*

Thrity minutes later, the Thornatus has not moved

Mata Nui: *collapses* Okay...I think I loosened it  up slightly for you...*throws up on the ground* I'm okay...just a little tired...

Kiina and Vastus combine their powers to free the Thornatus with a giant combined ray.

Gali and Lewa: Why couldn't we ever do that!?

Ackar: Good job...

Mata Nui: Ergh...I don't feel so good. *faints*

Numerous Agori come onto the screen and drag Mata Nui away.

Click: Great...now whose shoulder can I ride on? It's like having my own giant robot that way...Waaaaaah!!!! *cries*

Ackar: FINE!!! Get up on my shoulder...You little pest...

Click: Yay! *hops up*

Kiina: But why do we need to practice our elemental powers anyway? *looks at Mata Nui (offscreen)*

Mata Nui: *Is attached to numerous medical devices* It's so you don't get old and worn out like me...*gasps for air; Tarduk brings him the Mask of Breathing*

Kiina: Old? You're like what, 1000 years old?

Me: *shrugs* I get confused sometimes. It would help if all of you guys weren't 100,,000 years old.

Kiina: Anyway...so actually, you're the youngest member of the cast, Mata Nui.

Me: Actually, I am.

Kiina: Will you shut up!!

Me: Hah. Do not insult your writer. I am more powerful than you will ever be. I now place the cure of the 'Stache on you...*draws a mustache on Kiina*

Ackar: CAN WE GET BACK ON TRACK PLEAS!?! Anyway...it's like Mata Nui said. If we get rusty at fighting, we could be taken down...After all, just because an enemy is no tin sight doesn't mean he's gone.

Mata Nui: I never said that!

Ackar: CUT HIS LIFE SUPPORT!!

Mata Nui: Wait! What are you doing with those scissors..??

Tarduk: *cuts all of the tubes connect to Mata Nui*

Mata Nui: ACK! *dies*

Click: Hm...unseen enemy...sounds like we'll need the X-Ray Visor. *grabs X-Ray Visor* Hm...I SEE METUS!!! *climbs up the Rock Wall behind them*

Metus is digging at a rock directly above the Glatorian and Thornatus with his tail.

Metus: Heheheh...soon the Glatorian will die! (Translation: Mmm...I think I see some rootworms in this rock. I love rootworms.)

Click: *sees Metus* *clicks at him*

Metus: First I will have my revenge on the bug!! (Translation: Hello Click! How are you and the others doing lately? Yes, I've given up all hostilities against the Agori and Glatorian. Unfortunately, My speech has been impeded by my recent transformation.)

Click: *flees*

Metus: Come back here!! (Translation: What? Is there something you want to show me? *follows*

Click: *kicks rocks at Metus*

Metus: Ouch! Grrr...Yaah!! *chases again* (Translation: Watch out Click, these rocks are quite treacherous...I think I may have cut my jaw on one. Could you go in there and check it out?)

Click: *makes it up high* *moons Metus* *flees*

Metus: Grr!!! I'm going to kill you!! (Translation: Oh, I get it, we're playing tag! But seriously, could you check my mouth? It hurts.)

Click: *Comes across a dead end* Uh-oh.

Metus: Finally...I have you now!! (Translation: I'm about to tag you...heheheh. But can you PLEASE look in my mouth?

Click: *summons other Scarabaxes*

Metus: Whaaat!? (Translation: Are you calling some friends in? Great! We can all play tag! *tags Click*)

The camera zooms out to the whole canyon.

Metus: *flies through the air* I HATE THAT BUUUUUG!! (Translation: Wheee! Am I flying to the tooth doctor*

Click: *returns to where Ackar, Kiina and Vastus are, kicking down some rocks*

Kiina: There you are! Be careful! You might start an AVALANCHE!!! *the giant boulder up on the cliff falls and crushes the three Glatorian*

Click: ...yay!

xD Nice ones, Twi. I liked how Metus's speech got 'impaired'. =P

Personally, the "Mask of Breathing" joke was probably my favorite joke from this entire spoof. =P

But anyway, I got that idea from the BiTF comic "Crocomire" and thought it'd be good on the Rock Steed. Then I realised it'd  be really funny if Metus was being misunderstood when talking to Click, and rolled with it. =P

That was funny. xD

Oh, forgot about the Rock Steed being misunderstood, that was a pretty cool one too. =P