you did not know the people there are my friend and they get me the cookie and send it by mail
My nanites invade the internet, scan the cookie, and let it pass on to Venom.
My nanites then return to my room and clone the cookie (minus its new personality). I sit on my bed and (finally) enjoy my snack.
<Yes, this is it, I am finished fighting for the cookie for myself. I will now take on the role of the Cookie itself. Mwahahahahahaha!>
The cookie arrives in Venom's inbox...and eats him!
Cookie: NO ONE tries to eat me! RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!