Ray of Hope illustrations--SPOILERS AHEAD

[Flipz]

'K.
Could you make a description for Jas, so I can put that one up, too?

Sure thing!  How's this?

It's me, Jas765, as I will appear in Flipz' upcoming story serial, "Ray of Hope" (which will be illustrated by yours truly)!

An exceptionally gifted and mild-mannered artist, Jas starts the story as the bearer of bad news to Flipz, Treecleaver and Beeky31.  Drawn into the investigation, he soon finds himself over his head in mysteries, secrets, and intrigue.  However, when a simple confrontation becomes a struggle for survival, his ingenuity and old-fashioned courage keep alive the heroes' lone ray of hope...

Jas is equipped with two main items of equipment (not pictured here): a Power Pencil he can use to make his drawings come to life and an Omni-Directional Sketchpad that gives him a stable drawing surface anytime, anywhere.

Credit for the description goes to Flipz.

Again, feel free to change anything you like (especially for this one!).

[Jas765]

Thanks!

I'd just like to ask first, could we change the power pencil to a sonic screwdriver, which has a power pencil on the end?
I'm just checking, because it might change the plot a little bit.

[Flipz]

Thanks!

I'd just like to ask first, could we change the power pencil to a sonic screwdriver, which has a power pencil on the end?
I'm just checking, because it might change the plot a little bit.

Sure-I think.  Your drawings will still be able to come to life, right?  If so, then it's OK if the name is changed.  

[Flipz]

Here's the a list of the rest of the characters we'll need done for you to be able to draw my sample script.  Most are copied from before, but there have been some updates.  The ones in green are the easiest ones to start with  :

*Captain Peachbeard: A Pirate captain.  I think you can guess what his beard looks like.    Anything's OK for him, but I'd prefer him to be dark-colored (in clothing) and not have a peg leg or eyepatch.

*Peachbeard's assistant: A short guy with a long nose.  He likes the color green a lot, and has a green bandana.

*2-4 other Peachbeard Pirates: don't worry about these guys too much, they'll just be in the background holding a treasure chest, shortly before dropping it to run away from an avalanche of peaches.

*Young Beeky31: He should look somewhat like this, but he'll only be armed with the dagger and a *small* hammer (or possibly a sword).  If you can make him look younger and less experienced than that, it would be great; the idea is that these are the characters before they became the heroes we know today (indeed, this is a part of the story that takes place before Beeky and TC meet me or SpaceDude!).  UPDATE: I have come up with a better costume idea for Beeky.  He should have black pants, a white sleeveless shirt/vest with two pockets on it (these pockets should be represented as lines, much like the pockets on my LU version of the Mythbusters), and a white headband with a red logo of some sort on it (possibly the LU logo).

Note: I plan to use Young Beeky and especially Young Treecleaver as previews for "Ray of Hope," so if you like how they come out please feel free to post them in the LU CL, just make sure to include "Ray of Hope Preview" and include my name in the tags.  It might also help if you mention in the description that you will be illustrating "Ray of Hope".

*Imperial Knight Flipz: I'll upload a pic of him to the LU CL by next week.  I've posted him in the LU CL as "RoH Teaser 1-Imperial Knight".  His face is blurred out, but I'm sure you know what his face looks like.

*Shadow Warrior/SpaceDude1234567: The concept segment won't require him to have his weapons, but I'll include the links to the pics with his weapons in case you want to draw them, too.  SpaceDude will be doing a running effect at one point very similar to Fox's B-side move in Super Smash Bros Brawl, and I would like to see concept art for that as well.  

*I need to PM him to make his minifig as he wants it to appear in the story; once that's done I'll let you know.

*raft: Beeky and TC will be tied to a simple raft with a small mast that has a crossbeam.  The sails will have been removed, but a red bandana (yes, that one...[i.e. the one Treecleaver wears today]) and the canister (retracted Retractable Spatula) will be laying on it.

[Flipz]

Hey, Jas, could we put a rush on Young Beeky and Imperial Knight Flipz?  I want to have all character profiles in the Creation Lab by Friday May 8th, but more importantly I hope to have the first sample script illustrated by May 22nd so we have time to have several parts completed by my projected release date of June 26th.  Getting these three done will greatly speed things along.

[Jas765]

'k. I'll start with beeky.
Argh, Jas was denied because it 'included personal information'. I'll try again, rewriting the description so it says I'll be called 'Jas', and see if that gets past. If that doesn't work, I'll just stick 765 at the end of my ROH name.

[Flipz]

So, how's it going?

[Jas765]

Sorry for the wait, school started again.
Here's young beeky:

Could you give me the transcript of the first part so I can work on that?

[Flipz]

Sorry for the wait, school started again.
Here's young beeky:
http://i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu25/JasMart/beeky-1.png
Could you give me the transcript of the first part so I can work on that?

Sure!  Give me 5 minutes to create a couple of paneling layouts.

EDIT: Here are the paneling layouts.  It'll make it easier to read the script.    FYI, I have to make a new set of these for each part; the closest thing to a "Standard" panel layout would be the Even four-segment split in Image 2, and even that will change from part to part (notice, for example, that the reading flow differs between Images 1 and 2).

On another note: Yes, I know that all the panel borders are straight; this is because I can't draw a square (or even a straight line) to save my life, so I just used the table functions in Word.  Please, PLEASE add slants and angles as necessary to make things clearer as needed; we don't want to confuse the readers, now do we?

And now, without further ado, the paneling layouts for Part 1 of the "Early Days" sequence of "Ray of Hope"!

[Flipz]

(Double posting to keep the post size reasonable)
Also, you don't have to draw the word balloons if you don't want to.  I'll be putting the text in them anyways so I can get the right font style, so as long as you leave room for them, it's OK.  Either way works for me.  


Image 1)
I:
scene: Captain Peachbeard stands gloating in the foreground while several of his crew carry off an overflowing treasure chest in the background.  Near the crew are Young Beeky and Young Treecleaver tied back-to-back to the mast of a rickety-looking raft (Beeky faces downstream, which is to the right in this shot).  Another crewmember stands near the raft with his sword out and a cut rope at his feet.  He has obviously cut Beeky and TC loose from the rock to which the raft had been tied.

CPb: At last!  Captain Beardbeard the Great's legendary treasure, his Retractible Spatula, is mine!

II:
scene: First Mate Pit stands in front of Peachbeard, facing the river (Peachbeard himself  faces the audience just like in the last shot).  It is a closer shot (cutting both pirates off at the waist or maybe even higher), and the background is highly simplified to draw attention to Peachbeard's shocked expression.

FMP: Umm...Cap'pn?  Do you mean that grimy old spatula that was on top of the chest?  Uh...we, erm, sort of...left it with the prisoners when we cut them loose.  I didn't realize-
CPb: Peaches!
FMP: I'm sorry, Cap'pn!  I'll have the men-
CPb: No, not the Spatula-

III:
scene: An avalanche of peaches cascading down the mountainside from an overturned truck, with Peachbeard and the other pirates fleeing for their lives.  (They are running towards the right-hand side of the panel; the edge of the river is just visible at the bottom of the panel.)

CPb:-it's an avalanche of peaches!

IV:
scene: TC and Beeky tied to the raft as it floats downstream.  The camera is facing the right-rear corner of the raft, so Treecleaver is facing the audience.

TC: Uh...guys?  A little help here?
=
TC: Anyone?!

*Quick note: an = immediately between two consecutive lines of dialogue spoken by the same character indicates that the second line is in a second word balloon that is connected to the first.  If the = is absent, the character will use two separate word balloons.*


Image 2)
I:
Scene: the raft.  The camera is facing the front of the raft, but is off to the raft's left a little bit (i.e. it looks similar to this: / /).  Beeky's face is visible to the audience.

B31: Oh, no!
TC: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a HUGE waterfall.

II:
Scene: the raft.  reverse of previous shot (facing Treecleaver).

B31: Yup.
TC: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
B31: Most likely.

III:
Scene: Close-up of Treecleaver's face, with emphasis on his eyes.

TC: Bring it on.

IV:
Scene: Wide shot of the waterfall.  The tiny raft appears to have just begun to fall from the edge.

TC: BOO-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!


I'll give you the script for the rest of the images in a bit.  

[Flipz]

Whoops, I made a mistake with the paneling for image3.  There are actually 5 panels, not 4.  Oops, and there are some more mistakes--let me fix this...

EDIT: Never mind.  I just tweaked a few things in the script, so everything works now.  Just keep in mind that Panel 2 in Image 3 is now split vertically into Panels 2a and 2b.

[Jas765]

One day late's not too bad 
Okay, here's shot 1 I:


EDIT: Shot 1 II:

[Flipz]

No it's not bad at all!  Though for readability, the text should be in all caps, and the words "Retractible Spatula" in the first panel should be bolded.  Nice job with the different font sizes-I would never have thought of that.

And, since I keep forgetting to give this to you, here's the rest of the script for this part:

Image 3:
I:
scene: Stranger and SpaceDude1234567 entering a forest clearing where Flipz waits for them.  (Stranger and SD are near the lower-left corner, and flipz is just to the left of center.)  There are two ghost images of Flipz doing a backflip onto a high tree branch, and a solid (i.e. normal) image of Flipz perched on said branch.
Stranger: OK, Flipz, we got your message.  What's up?
Flipz: I think it's time Alex-erm, I mean, SpaceDude-and I compare notes on our new powers.  For instance--remember when SpaceDude discovered how to give himself a short burst of super-strength?
Stranger: Vividly.  And I have the scars to prove it...
Flipz: Well, I've discovered I can alter other variables, such as mass--
=
Flipz: --density--
=
Flipz: --and surface friction--
=
Flipz: --so I can do awesome acrobatics like this!

*Note: Each of these connected word bubbles will also have a trail pointing to one of the ghost images of Flipz, i.e. he is saying them in mid-leap.

IIa:
scene: Stranger and SpaceDude1234567 standing on the forest floor far below (left side of panel).  The camera is looking over Flipz' shoulder from his perch on the tree branch.

SD: Sweeeet!
Stranger: Impressive.  Can you alter any other variables?
Flipz: That's why I wanted to compare notes.  Besides the ones I just mentioned, I've only been able to improve my reflexes, memory, speed, and--
SD: Speed? As in, I can do super-speed??  This I've gotta try!
Stranger: No, Alex, wait--

IIb:
Scene: same as IIa, but a blurred line of ghost images extends from SpaceDude's former position to the upper right corner.

Flipz:...you think we should have told him we're right next to a cliff?

III:
Scene: Young Beeky and Young Treecleaver, still tied to the raft as it falls down the waterfall.  The red bandana and the retracted Spatula are floating a couple of inches off the surface of the raft (to give the impression of falling).

(Square caption box): Meanwhile...
B31 and TC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IV:
Scene: Same as III, but Spacedude, still going at super-speed, has rocketed (left-to-right) across most of the panel, shattering the raft's mast and dragging Beeky, Treecleaver, and the Spatula and bandana clear.  (It should be apparent that SpaceDude is doing this completely by accident, and was not trying to be a hero.)

B31 and TC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH-urk!

To be continued, I'm going to submit this post so I don't lose too much if there's a glitch...

[Flipz]

Double-posting again to avoid running out of characters/post.

Image 4:
I:
Scene: a "hero shot" of SpaceDude standing on a rocky cliff next to the waterfall (which is right behind him).  Young Beeky is laying on the ground at SpaceDude's feet (the camera is looking over his shoulder), and Beeky is reaching for SpaceDude's outstretched hand.

SD: Here, let me help you up.
B31: Thanks, uhh...
SD: Ale--erm, SpaceDude.  Spacedude1234567.
B31: Thanks, SpaceDude.  You saved both our lives.

II:
Scene: The rocky cliff, this time with the camera looking over SpaceDude's shoulder.  Beeky is on his feet now, and is looking down with his hand in his pocket, presumably looking for some kind of reward.  Treecleaver can be seen in the background retreiving the bandana and Spatula.

SD: It was nothing.
=
SD: literally.
B31: Well, I'm afraid I must insist on giving you a reward.  Now, would you be interested in--

III:
Scene: Same as II, but SpaceDude is gone, replaced by a "whoosh" sound effect.  Beeky is still in the same position as before, but now he's looking at where SpaceDude used to be.  TC is in the background, fastening the bandana onto his head.

B31: --Where'd he go?
TC: Hey, Beeky!

IV: A "hero" shot of Young Treecleaver, now with his trademark bandana and Retractible Spatula (which is now extended instead of retracted).  He'd look really cool if his pose weren't so rediculous.  the profile of Beeky's face can be seen along the left-hand side of the panel.

TC: What do you think?
B31 (thought bubble): You really don't want to know what I think of that pose...
B31 (normal speech bubble): I think we'd better get going, or we'll miss the Bazzar.
TC: Yeah, I suppose you're right...

[Flipz]

Image 5:
I:
Scene: The clearing.  The camera looks over SD's shoulder.  Flipz has come back to the ground; he stands on the left.  Stranger stands on the right.
Flipz: SpaceDude!  You're back!
Stranger: Are you alright?
SD: Yeah, I'm fine.  Just makin' a couple of friends.

II:
Scene: Waist-up shot of Stranger (similar angle to I, but focused on Stranger; Flipz and SD are no longer visible).
Stranger: This is getting far too risky--what if they saw you and recognized you using your powers?  This whole secret could be blown!  No, there's no doubt about it.  We need to get you guys some disguises.  A new look to go with your new names.  New armor, clothes, weapons...

III:
Scene: Extreme close-up of Stranger's face (on the right-hand side, to leave room for the word balloon).

Stranger: There's only one place where we can find all this stuff--
=
Stranger: --the Beta Bazzar!

[Jas765]

'k, I'll try to do these on the weekend.
Wait, what does he look like? I don't think you ever told me.

[Flipz]

'k, I'll try to do these on the weekend.
Wait, what does he look like? I don't think you ever told me.

Whoops, forgot to say.  He looks just like his MLN 'Fig: kinda like the minifig on the far right of my sig, but with blonde hair and the face he uses on MLN.

Come to think of it...

EDIT:


From left to right: Master Cylar Bourg (Imperial Knight), Master Brisha Syo (Imperial Knight), Princess Niobe Fel (Imperial Knight/Princess), Master Jason Lavernious Williams (Imperial Knight) (a.k.a. Matchoupatchou#1), Master Amarus Zagrene (Imperial Knight) (a.k.a. Flipz), Master Laura Jade (Imperial Knight) (a.k.a. MaraJade312), Steven Skywalker (WIP name) (a.k.a. {502}Venom312), Alexander "Alex" Martins (a.k.a. SpaceDude1234567), and Minch "Mindless" Yoda (a.k.a. Mindless1987).  And the ships are the Blue Shadow (MJ and Venom's ship) and the Exarthian Interstellar Explorer.

[Flipz]

Sorry for the wait, school started again.
Here's young beeky:

Could you give me the transcript of the first part so I can work on that?

OK, here's some profile information for Young Beeky:

This is Beeky31 as he will appear in the "Early Days" segment of Flipz' upcoming story serial "Ray of Hope", as illustrated by me!

A trader and aventurer known Universe-wide for his honesty, Beeky is almost inseparable from his friend and adventuring partner Treecleaver.  But when disaster strikes, the Beta Bazzar, he learns that his own destiny will lead him down a different path...and that his own unique skills could become the lone ray of hope for all humanity...

BTW, I'm going to start a new topic to be devoted entirely to character sketches and concept art, so this one can be left to the story itself.  OK?

[Jas765]

I'm really sorry for the waiting, I've got 2 more done:





I tried a different font on these, so you can decide which one you like better.

[Jas765]

I'm uploading images 2I-2IV now.

EDIT: