Ddude The Insane
News Reporter
MLNO Forum Moderator
Inventor
MLNO Reputation 3
 Offline
Gender: 
Awards: 
Team: No Team
Purpose: Stuff.
Posts: 3989
 Badges: (View All)  
|
 |
« on: August 24, 2009, 08:33:45 pm » |
|
This is the review topic for my Bionicle Epic: The Shadowed Land[ The Shadowed Land Post you criticism/compliments here! The Shadowed Land-Current Chapter: 2 |
|
|
|
« Last Edit: November 29, 2009, 09:11:31 pm by DT - Sith Master »
|
Report Spam
Logged
|
by that logic, cheese graters do not exist, as they are not graters made of cheese.
Do you just make everything I say into a quote?
"You've found Narnia, Harry." |
|
|
Saturn2.0
Craftsman
MLNO Reputation 2
Offline
Gender:
Purpose: Discovery
Posts: 1526
Wow
Badges: (View All)  
|
|
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2009, 09:59:55 pm » |
|
I like it, could you work a little better on grammar? This doesn't make sense: "...Solek was startled to see that the Nui-Jaga...." That last part sounds like you were going to add something, but ended in a period. But besides that, I rate it 9/10, could use more epicness  ! |
My discord is wwolf94 if you'd like to find me there. 
I like how Saturn posted that like 30 seconds later. Therefore he prepared that image beforehand. My conclusion: he's a man with a plan. A schemer.
|
|
|
Ddude The Insane
News Reporter
MLNO Forum Moderator
Inventor
MLNO Reputation 3
Offline
Gender:
Awards:
Team: No Team
Purpose: Stuff.
Posts: 3989
Badges: (View All)
|
|
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2009, 10:06:24 pm » |
|
?
I don't remember that part. Could you quote it? I couldn't find it.
It's trailing off to the next chapter.
EDIT:I saw the typo you mentioned, I fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out.
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: August 25, 2009, 08:32:02 pm by Darth Twilight »
|
Report Spam
Logged
|
by that logic, cheese graters do not exist, as they are not graters made of cheese.
Do you just make everything I say into a quote?
"You've found Narnia, Harry." |
|
|
Kritzelei
MLN Quester
Craftsman
MLNO Reputation 7
Offline
Gender:
Awards:  
Team: No Team
Purpose: To do something.
Posts: 1377
Badges: (View All)  
|
|
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2009, 02:27:38 am » |
|
Brilliant! It's good so far, I can't wait for the next chapter.
TBD
|
I'm back. Probably not for long, as I've got school stuff to attend to, and I'll probably want to get a job at some point (hopefully self-employed). But nice to see you all again anyway.
|
|
|
Ddude The Insane
News Reporter
MLNO Forum Moderator
Inventor
MLNO Reputation 3
Offline
Gender:
Awards:
Team: No Team
Purpose: Stuff.
Posts: 3989
Badges: (View All)
|
|
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2009, 09:14:04 pm » |
|
Ok, I put up the second chapter. But I got a new idea, and I don't want to have two story serials breathing down my neck (=P) So I closed The Shadowed Land. This topic will now be for discussing my new series, Readying the Storm. It;s about life on Bara Magna as everyone prepares for Makuta.
EDIT: Change of heart, I'll handle both of 'em. This topic is now for The Shadowed Land and Readying the Storm.
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: November 05, 2009, 04:54:30 pm by DT - Sith Master »
|
Report Spam
Logged
|
by that logic, cheese graters do not exist, as they are not graters made of cheese.
Do you just make everything I say into a quote?
"You've found Narnia, Harry." |
|
|
|
